I Just Don't Understand: Laments on Not Fitting In With My Generation

I feel it at least once every day. This feeling of disconnect, of not quite getting what others of a similar age love. Gossip Girl, The OC, Laguna Beach (mostly season 2) and Pretty Little Liars I totally get and got. Albeit I was a little late to the bandwagon for The OC, but I got there. Phew. These other things that my age group are all about... I'm at a loss.

Some things I don't get:
-Tanning: It's like smoking, we know it's bad for us, we know it can kill us and some of us just continue to laugh smokily in the face of danger and lung failure (try laughing then) and keep doing it. Your skin in precious. I admit I am not AS good to my skin as I should be, I could use at least a couple more glasses of water per day, maybe a daily vitamin and daily sunscreen... But I have had the blessing of learning from an early age, that the skin is to be protected. I was teased and still am for my comparative lack of pigment but I really just don't care. I'm going to look great at 30, 40 and 50 and those going to tanning beds, or laying out in the sun for hours on end are going to be battling many more wrinkles. They won't get carded at clubs, no one will mistake them for their daughter's sister and then they'll spend many more dollars getting injections, peels and face transplants.
Vicious circle and plastic surgeons are loving your live fast die tan mentality.
Now, I don't blame people for soaking up a little vitamin D. Sometimes it's really nice to feel the sun on your skin. But this obsession, this infiltration of tanning salons into everyday society is redic. Especially in San Diego (even though I live in Portland), I mean, the sun's out basically every day. Why do you need a shop? Oh right, controlled skin cancer. High five.

-Drugs:
Tell me about your last trip. Tell me how wonderful it was and how at one you felt with the Earth, lalala. I won't get it. Tell me how loving you felt toward everyone or how tired you weren't for hours. I still won't get it. Tell me to heat something in a spoon I'll run away fast, tell me I have to put it in with needles I'll be pissed I don't get a piercing out of it. Basically, I just don't get any of them. Even the ones that people say "aren't drugs" because they are "natural." Okay. Whatever, I still don't want it. I barely have caffeine in a day, it gives me panic attacks if I have one coffee drink. My body doesn't handle it.
Prescription drugs? Only if it's keeping me from hating life day to day. I don't mean taking a vicodin to relieve my mental suffering. I mean regulated anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I'm already at a low dose and don't want to go back up. I rarely take anything else they prescribe me, heck, when I got my wisdom teeth out I stuck to over the counter ibuprofen. So yeah, I'm just not going to get it. Stop.

-Peer pressure:
If your friend really doesn't want to do something... sex, drugs, alcohol... why are you saying she should? I'm pretty resistant to peer pressure. I'm not good at taking orders generally unless they make sense to me and I can be incredibly stubborn. You tell me to get drunk I'm DEFINITELY not going to get drunk. And I'm going to think less of you as a friend. No question. Every person that has tried multiple times to get me to drink more than I wanted has been let go from frequent contact. I just have no time for it.

-Drinking until you black out/fall over/puke/make a fool of yourself:
Ladies, really? Dudes, honestly? You don't look cool. I have yet to see someone get blasted and think, "Hey, that looks like one stand up dude (or chick." Probably because they aren't standing up by that point. But still. I also hear about how miserable the next day is. Some people say it was worth it. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Sure, have a drink, get a little drunk... Fine. Get to the point where you lose all function? I'm sorry, that's just dumb. No one is REALLY having fun by that point. Stop killing your kidneys.
Which leads me to another question I have about my generation, what is cool about killing parts of your body? Lungs, eff em.... kidneys? Well, I have two. NO, that's not how it's suppose to work!

-Jersey Shore:
Gym, Tan, Laundry. Gym? Eh, maybe tomorrow, I'm going to stay in and read tonight. Tan? See above... and Laundry, I'm surprised those dudes (and ladies) know how to do their laundry without mixing colors and shrinking already small clothes.

-Partying in General:
I need a tutor in partying. How does it go again? Steps please. Okay,
Step One is to get really dressed up... alright, well do I HAVE to wear heels? I do. Shoot. Yeah, I might stay in...
FINE! I'll put on my wedges, does that count? Not really but you'll take it. Good.
Step Two: find a crowded bar or house party. Ummm, I don't like crowds. These people look dumb. No, I haven't talked to them yet. I'm sure they're really nice but half of them are already wasted. Oh, this guy just breathed on me. Gross. You wish buddy, get lost.
Oh, I'm suppose to be nice....
Step Three: drink. Ummm, Do you have some patron and margarita mix? No, this isn't THAT kind of party, I'm not sure what you mean by that... you only have beer? Yeah, I'm out. Done. Oh, we're going to a bar now and they'll have margaritas? How long is that going to take to get there? What time is it? One? Sigh.... okay, I'll stick it out a tad longer....
Step Three: Drink. So I got my margarita... OH I'm suppose to chug is basically? You say I'm nursing it? No, I'm enjoying it. This was a $10 drink. Why would I suck it back so fast? Okay, I'll take a big sip. Oh man. I'm feeling warm in my stomach. Yes I know that only a third of my drink is gone... I told you, lightweight.
Step Four: Drink more. Yeahhhh, about that. I'm already tipsy. I'm good. Oh, you bought me another drink. You really shouldn't have, I'm going to sit here and watch the ice melt or hand it to a random. Seriously.
Hey, what do they have to eat here? Nothing? Shit, alright, I'm going to find some food. I'm hungry. Food is so much better than drinks.
What? There are more steps. Okay give 'um to me real quick, my stomach's eating itself... I'm suppose to drink until I can't really walk right? Then find a random and hook up??? That's a step? Yeah, I'm more interested in food at the moment. And there are a bunch of tools here. I'm out.

And that's how I fail at partying

-Admitting and being proud of not reading books
Really? You know you look like a dumb ass right? You haven't read one book cover to cover in your life? NEXT!

-Blaming everything on your vice and saying it's not your fault:
Heard this yesterday "I'm forgetful. I smoke a lot of pot. It's not my fault."
Um, yes, yes it is your fault. I don't care if you smoke but turns out that if you are forgetful because you smoke pot it is entirely your fault. Don't smoke and don't be a stupid head.

-Girls shaving one side of their head, or a spot on their head... etc:
Maybe I'm a bit traditional in hair styles. I like different colors but I HATE dreads, or really intense asymmetrical cuts. Betty bangs only compliment the faces of a very select few and extensions should be worn with care. And put in with expertise. If your head looks like Edward Scissorhands went after it there's a problem. Guys generally won't notice, but I will.
The shaving of the side of the head... it reminds me of head trauma accidents. Did you recently need stitches? What is the meaning behind this new fashion statement? Did your 5 year old sister want to play beauty shop and ended up with real scissors?
I've seen some really pretty girls do this and I just. don't. get. it. Maybe it's an anti pretty thing. Maybe it's a feminist thing that others didn't know was feminist and started doing because they saw it on a celebrity. I don't know. All I know is STOP IT!

-Partying: how did the steps go again? I'm hung over. I can't get hungover from one drink? I guess I'm just tired then. Whatever, I want a Diet Coke. No, I don't want whisky in it. Gross.

This is why I spend a lot of time either by myself or working on projects like crocheting blankets, making collages, and reading 52 books in 52 weeks. Which reminds me, I have a book to go finish!

xoxo

This post was inspired by two things:
1) Amanda's post to the similar
2) Hanging out with some younger dudes the other day. (Don't worry no moves were made, I'm losing interest in the youngins! ps they were 21, definitely not hitting on high schoolers thank you very much!)