Books of October

The year is winding down here soon. Well, as much as it can when two HUGE holidays are a month apart from each other. October held a lot of trying things for me. I wasn't as focused on reading but luckily I had the past months of overachievement to give me a little help. :)

This month was a struggle. I started, and gave up on, a couple of books and just wasn't really pulled towards anything. I read the second two books at the same time when I first bought them but then eventually read one exclusively and then the other. Way better doing one book at a time. I know this and yet I start more than one book at a time. 

I read On Beauty a long while back and thought it was a beautiful (albeit a tad depressing) book. This book was no let down. The characters were great, the stories were great and it wasn't nearly as depressing as On Beauty. 

I remember people going crazy over this book when it first came out. I worked at Barnes and Noble at the time and didn't really know much about it. Fast forward some odd years later and I'm looking for more memoirs on teaching and education. Of course this one pops up so, while walking through Powell's one day, I pick it up. It was for the low low price of $2.50 or something crazy like that so I couldn't say no. 

I put off reading it for a while and when I started it I also started another book. One night I made myself sit with this book, and this book only and really devote myself to reading it. I was hooked after that. It's a great read. Charming and definitely inspiring. 

I generally have a strong hate for business books. My mind shuts down when it comes to current (or historical) politics, math and straight business talk. I just don't like it and so my mind pretends like it doesn't catch on. I had heard Seth Godin's name from time to time when I was working at my previous job and I had this book on my list for a while but really didn't have too much of a want to read it. Yes, it was good, wooohoo. Great. Another social media maven. Gag me. But my curiosity got the best of me and while I was looking at several business type books at Powell's (I'm there a LOT) I decided this one was the one I was most likely to read.

And I did.

I loved it.

Godin hits on similar ideas as Cameron and while they describe or name them a tiny bit differently, it's all in the same vein of thinking and creating. I don't think it's mere coincidence that I was inspired to read this while doing The Artist's Way program. I think I've definitely headed on a good track for the future. 

Despite being a bit behind this month in book:week ratio, I am still way ahead of the game! We have 9 weeks left in the year and I have 3 books left to read!

I can't even believe it. When I first read about 52 in 52 I thought there was going to be no way I could come close to completing it. But look at me go!

What would you recommend for my last three books?

xoxo

Happily Wasted

Movies/Shows Watched- 

The Walking Dead- Episode 2 of Season 2

Pretty Little Liars Halloween Episode
Ides of March (so heated after this movie)
Started Season 6 of Bones

Listening to

A Loss For Words
Taylor Swift

Read (or currently reading)

The Artist's Way

Catch-22
This is Not the Story You Think It Is

Favorite Posts/Articles

Love love love this fort made for a precious little girl.
Dani wrote a lovely letter to herself at 15... things to still remember at 25 and on
During my trip to San Diego I was able to revert my sleep time back a bit, now after reading this article I'm even more motivated to start a morning routine!
Sydney is one of those women who just always looks gorgeous, even after days of contractions. I'm thinking good thoughts for her and her baby!
I look forward to posts on I Just Might Explode and this one is no exception. 
Ashes are just a necessary end to fire.

xoxo

Internet Inspiration

It's been a minute since I have been even slightly interested in sharing things I've found pretty and so when the urge struck I took hold and put it all together. 

Enjoy!

Awesome

Gorgeous

Future tattoo inspiration

Dear Future Boyfriend, it is required you fill my room (or our room) with balloons for some occasion. Thank you.

Must find thick and slightly loose gray socks for this kind of outfit!

Love love love this outfit

Need for regular length chambray shirt

Need for long chambray shirt

I was just thinking about how I needed to make caramel apples this year.

My favorite of all. 

Sources: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

The Artist's Way: Week 2

Before I get started on my summary of Week 2, I'll do a little recap of the goals  and tools of this project. 

Goals of 12 week program: 

1. Learn to be gentle and positive with and about myself

2. Start habit of morning pages that will carry on for life

3. Break down the liver's (like to live, not liver like thing my generation abuses) block

Tools:

Morning Pages:

Three hand written, pages about anything and everything. You can whine about how life is unfair or about how blocked you are or about how the wall is white. You could write the same word over and over until something comes up, you could start a story, but the point is to get pen to paper and have words come out. Any words. This is about quantity and repetition, not quality.

Artists Dates:

Artists dates is a time you spend with yourself, not with anybody else, and you explore something. It could be walking around an exhibit, going to a new restaurant, taking a long walk or hike, jumping rope for 20+ minutes, seeing a movie you've been wanting to see, browsing a record store... anything.

But they have to be by yourself and they have to be enjoyable to you. 

Have you been doing these things in your life already?

Week Two: Recovering a Sense of Identity

In week two the lessons are about finding who you are and what you are interested in. It's about letting go of what you THINK you are and like and letting the real thing come through. Sometimes the interests will be the same, sometimes you'll find you are interested in a completely different craft.

My favorite quotation:

...the truth of a life really has little to do with its quality. The quality of  life is in proportion, always, to the capacity for delight. The capacity for delight is the gift of paying attention.

I've been experiencing this a lot lately. Maybe reading this chapter before different parts of my life starting going south all at once was helpful in a subconscious way. I will never fully know. All I know is that there have been some interesting things going on and I still have a smile on my face more times than not. I'm not anxious or sad, I'm just sitting here knowing somehow that things are going to work out. I've never been like this, so that's something.

Favorite Task:

List 5 imaginary lives you would lead if you could do so. Think of things you could do to put a tiny part of those lives into your reality.

1. Professional Traveler

2. Baker: Think Maggie Gyllenhaal in Stranger than Fiction

3. Fiction Writer

4. College Professor

5. Photographer - focus on art 

While it was an easy move, I definitely took photos, with my Holga, during week 2 and went and had a contact sheet made and then picked which ones I wanted to print. Awesome experience. I don't think I want to shoot with 35mm as much as I want to shoot with 120. 

Check In:

1. Morning pages: again 5/7

Again making enough time for the pages in the morning was a problem but I did like writing at night sometimes instead.

2. Artist Date:

Once again I took myself on a Sushi date and this time ordered some different rolls and pieces. I wrote again and enjoyed the time I had before going to class. 

3. Issues with the week: 

Must learn to balance work through out the week! So into it at the beginning of the week and then after Wednesday it's all of a sudden Sunday and I haven't done anything but the Morning Pages. I do think about the project every single day but I don't devote enough time to it yet.

Thoughts on week 2: Still in love with this book and this process though I do feel like I am slacking. I am actually writing this during Week 4 and I've decided to give myself a 2nd go at Week 4 to actually get something out of it and get on track. That will also make it easier to get caught up here. But that's just a bonus.

What projects have you been working on lately?

xoxo

Happily Wasted

This past week was all about getting things situated in my head. Tightening screws that have been loosened with time and little maintenance. Things fall apart when you don't. I've learned this over and over again recently. But everything is good and well, making progress in many ways. Didn't spend as much time with the different mass mediums this time around but I have been enjoying myself fully.

This week has been about getting everything figured out AND visiting friend and family in San Diego. Much needed hang outs being had.

Movies/Shows Watched- 

Bones - Finished up all netflicks instant watch episodes

The Walking Dead- Episode 1 of Season 2

The New Girl- Episode 3

Listening to

Taylor Swift

Read (or currently reading)

The Artist's Way

Linchpin (Finished)

Teacher Man (Finished)

Favorite Posts/Articles

This week I was quite behind on my blog reading, check back on this next week!

xoxo

Path vs Destination

found here

The Artist's Way: Introduction and Week 1

Recently I've taken on yet another project. This one is meant to help me with all current and future projects. I was inspired by Erika at A Tiny Rocket when she said she was going to do a blog-a-long (my word, now given freely to the world... you're welcome*).

I have signed on to working through The Artist's Way for the whole 12 week program. I will be honest and say I started this a while back, which may have been obvious from my Happily Wasted posts... but I will be posting the week updates here with little notes about how I felt about each week.

Before I start with Week One I'm going to introduce some tools (as Julia calls them) that are a big part of these 3 months...

Morning Pages:

3, hand written, pages about anything and everything. You can whine about how life is unfair or about how blocked you are or about how the wall is white. You could write the same word over and over until something comes up, you could start a story, but the point is to get pen to paper and have words come out. Any words. This is about quantity and repetition, not quality.

Artists Dates:

Artists dates is a time you spend with yourself, not with anybody else, and you explore something. It could be walking around an exhibit, going to a new restaurant, taking a long walk or hike, jumping rope for 20+ minutes, seeing a movie you've been wanting to see, browsing a record store... anything.

But they have to be by yourself and they have to be enjoyable to you. 

Now, without further ado, I give you week one!

Week One: Recovering a Sense of Safety

In week one the lessons are centered around finding a safe place for the part of you that likes to create. It's about treating yourself well and very nicely. It's about finding the source of negative thoughts and banishing them. It was also about creating affirmations. Something I have definitely struggled with in the  past.

My favorite quotation:

You are not dumb, crazy, egomaniacal, grandiose, or silly just because you falsely believe yourself to be.

I highlighted this sentence in remembrance of the things I use to tell myself, about myself, in high school and the beginning (and possibly) end years of college. I was always sure that I was crazy and I needed to keep my depression in check so they wouldn't lock me up. I didn't want to see psychiatrists because I didn't want to know what they had to say. I wanted to be able to work through everything without them and/or drugs. 

I also thought I was incredibly dumb for a long, long time. It didn't matter what my grades were (mostly A's and then some B's in later high school years and through college as I started to let go a little bit) or how fast I could catch on to new concepts or how I connected things. It didn't matter how many of my teachers applauded my efforts, it didn't matter. I still felt like there was something about me that was dumb.

I don't know when it changed by sometime in the last few years I have moved away from both of these things. I've let myself have room to be me, I've given myself the okay to go see a counselor, I've given myself room to breathe. I've been able to understand (sometimes, most times) why people keep me in their lives and even fight for me to stay around when I'm being horrid. I'm starting to allow myself positive thoughts about what I do and who I am. 

Being here now I can't even fully remember the feelings of those times. That's a huge relief and I think something I need to remember on the hard days. There has been progress, there will be more progress and one day, things will get really good, just be kind to yourself.

Favorite Task:

Listing 3 champions of your creative self worth.

This assignment said to look back in life and find those who really stood behind you no matter what. Who have your back through thick and thin and know how to be constructive with their input.

Unicorn Sparkle(bottom)s

Chelsea Lee

&

Beth Elisa Harris 

These women (look at that, they are all women) each have their own way of really helping me out when I need it. Yes there are more people that fit the bill of my champions but they only asked for three this time. :)

At the end of every week there is a check in:

1. Morning pages: I did 5/7

I love the morning pages, though I don't always love the "morning" part of them. I'm really wondering what effects would come of doing night pages before bed instead. Or maybe I'll do the longer pages at night and one morning page when I wake up to start things going. Not sure yet, working on this week by week. Just don't wake up early enough to get them in and then get ready to go places.

2. Artist Date:

I took myself to sushi and wrote my Morning Afternoon Pages there before heading off to my first Holga Camera class! I took some time to pet a kitty that was walking around by the parking lot and then told the two little girls that came up to take over my job of petting her because I had to go. They brought her some food as well.

3. Issues with the week: 

Like I said before, morning part of morning pages is hard, writing 3 pages by hand every day about anything is not. Will have to figure this all out as the weeks go on.

Other issue was working on the weekly tasks for hours some days and not at all others. Need to find some balance!

So far I love this. I am having some issues with the whole "God" aspect. With a capital G and such. I'm a spiritual person but I'm more of a Mother Earth type then a God type. Cameron addresses this and so I'm doing my best not to put up mind blocks when I read certain things.

I have yet to decide if my creativity is really unlocking but I do feel myself working on different projects. In fact, I did put together two different polaroid collages, of my own polaroids and made the time to buy some frames for artwork I've bought over the years.

I guess I'll just see how everything goes week to week...

Have you ever worked on The Artist's Way?

xoxo

*pretty sure someone has used the word already... just felt special for a second

Happily Wasted

This week was kind of a wash. I have been feeling like the universe is using me as a porta potty lately. I really try to keep this space happy and light so that's why you haven't heard about all the trials and tribulations going on. I just keep telling myself day in and day out "it will be okay, things will work out" and see where life takes me next. 

Between a cold, a situation I haven't dealt with since kindergarten, my crushed car and being broke I think I have my plate full. Of course there are always other little things but I'm trying to sigh the frustration out and keep moving forward.

In better news here's the good that's been in my life this week:

Movies/Shows Watched- 

Drive


Listening to
Feist - Metals
Jack's Mannequin - People and Things 
Something Corporate

Read (or currently reading)

The Artist's Way

Linchpin

Teacher Man

The Court of the Air

Favorite Posts/Articles

The Mixed Race Project created by Sweet Fine Day is gorgeous and now I want a big project to work on... like I don't have enough projects in the works...

Unnecessary qualifications
My friend is involved in this new clothing line, check it out!!! Love the meaning behind the name.
Didn't know mom jeans could be so inspiring
Gorgeous camera bag
Katie's trip to Los Angeles makes me a tad homesick. I have a love/hate relationship with Southern California.
Bummed I didn't know about this brunch/Portland blogger get together. Always next time?
Why Amanda and I are friend soul mates, we get each other.




AAAAAAND I'm meeting up with some new people in a several hours. Need to get to sleep! Yay Blogger Meetup

!

xoxo

I Just Don't Understand: Laments on Not Fitting In With My Generation

I feel it at least once every day. This feeling of disconnect, of not quite getting what others of a similar age love. Gossip Girl, The OC, Laguna Beach (mostly season 2) and Pretty Little Liars I totally get and got. Albeit I was a little late to the bandwagon for The OC, but I got there. Phew. These other things that my age group are all about... I'm at a loss.

Some things I don't get:
-Tanning: It's like smoking, we know it's bad for us, we know it can kill us and some of us just continue to laugh smokily in the face of danger and lung failure (try laughing then) and keep doing it. Your skin in precious. I admit I am not AS good to my skin as I should be, I could use at least a couple more glasses of water per day, maybe a daily vitamin and daily sunscreen... But I have had the blessing of learning from an early age, that the skin is to be protected. I was teased and still am for my comparative lack of pigment but I really just don't care. I'm going to look great at 30, 40 and 50 and those going to tanning beds, or laying out in the sun for hours on end are going to be battling many more wrinkles. They won't get carded at clubs, no one will mistake them for their daughter's sister and then they'll spend many more dollars getting injections, peels and face transplants.
Vicious circle and plastic surgeons are loving your live fast die tan mentality.
Now, I don't blame people for soaking up a little vitamin D. Sometimes it's really nice to feel the sun on your skin. But this obsession, this infiltration of tanning salons into everyday society is redic. Especially in San Diego (even though I live in Portland), I mean, the sun's out basically every day. Why do you need a shop? Oh right, controlled skin cancer. High five.

-Drugs:
Tell me about your last trip. Tell me how wonderful it was and how at one you felt with the Earth, lalala. I won't get it. Tell me how loving you felt toward everyone or how tired you weren't for hours. I still won't get it. Tell me to heat something in a spoon I'll run away fast, tell me I have to put it in with needles I'll be pissed I don't get a piercing out of it. Basically, I just don't get any of them. Even the ones that people say "aren't drugs" because they are "natural." Okay. Whatever, I still don't want it. I barely have caffeine in a day, it gives me panic attacks if I have one coffee drink. My body doesn't handle it.
Prescription drugs? Only if it's keeping me from hating life day to day. I don't mean taking a vicodin to relieve my mental suffering. I mean regulated anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds. I'm already at a low dose and don't want to go back up. I rarely take anything else they prescribe me, heck, when I got my wisdom teeth out I stuck to over the counter ibuprofen. So yeah, I'm just not going to get it. Stop.

-Peer pressure:
If your friend really doesn't want to do something... sex, drugs, alcohol... why are you saying she should? I'm pretty resistant to peer pressure. I'm not good at taking orders generally unless they make sense to me and I can be incredibly stubborn. You tell me to get drunk I'm DEFINITELY not going to get drunk. And I'm going to think less of you as a friend. No question. Every person that has tried multiple times to get me to drink more than I wanted has been let go from frequent contact. I just have no time for it.

-Drinking until you black out/fall over/puke/make a fool of yourself:
Ladies, really? Dudes, honestly? You don't look cool. I have yet to see someone get blasted and think, "Hey, that looks like one stand up dude (or chick." Probably because they aren't standing up by that point. But still. I also hear about how miserable the next day is. Some people say it was worth it. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Sure, have a drink, get a little drunk... Fine. Get to the point where you lose all function? I'm sorry, that's just dumb. No one is REALLY having fun by that point. Stop killing your kidneys.
Which leads me to another question I have about my generation, what is cool about killing parts of your body? Lungs, eff em.... kidneys? Well, I have two. NO, that's not how it's suppose to work!

-Jersey Shore:
Gym, Tan, Laundry. Gym? Eh, maybe tomorrow, I'm going to stay in and read tonight. Tan? See above... and Laundry, I'm surprised those dudes (and ladies) know how to do their laundry without mixing colors and shrinking already small clothes.

-Partying in General:
I need a tutor in partying. How does it go again? Steps please. Okay,
Step One is to get really dressed up... alright, well do I HAVE to wear heels? I do. Shoot. Yeah, I might stay in...
FINE! I'll put on my wedges, does that count? Not really but you'll take it. Good.
Step Two: find a crowded bar or house party. Ummm, I don't like crowds. These people look dumb. No, I haven't talked to them yet. I'm sure they're really nice but half of them are already wasted. Oh, this guy just breathed on me. Gross. You wish buddy, get lost.
Oh, I'm suppose to be nice....
Step Three: drink. Ummm, Do you have some patron and margarita mix? No, this isn't THAT kind of party, I'm not sure what you mean by that... you only have beer? Yeah, I'm out. Done. Oh, we're going to a bar now and they'll have margaritas? How long is that going to take to get there? What time is it? One? Sigh.... okay, I'll stick it out a tad longer....
Step Three: Drink. So I got my margarita... OH I'm suppose to chug is basically? You say I'm nursing it? No, I'm enjoying it. This was a $10 drink. Why would I suck it back so fast? Okay, I'll take a big sip. Oh man. I'm feeling warm in my stomach. Yes I know that only a third of my drink is gone... I told you, lightweight.
Step Four: Drink more. Yeahhhh, about that. I'm already tipsy. I'm good. Oh, you bought me another drink. You really shouldn't have, I'm going to sit here and watch the ice melt or hand it to a random. Seriously.
Hey, what do they have to eat here? Nothing? Shit, alright, I'm going to find some food. I'm hungry. Food is so much better than drinks.
What? There are more steps. Okay give 'um to me real quick, my stomach's eating itself... I'm suppose to drink until I can't really walk right? Then find a random and hook up??? That's a step? Yeah, I'm more interested in food at the moment. And there are a bunch of tools here. I'm out.

And that's how I fail at partying

-Admitting and being proud of not reading books
Really? You know you look like a dumb ass right? You haven't read one book cover to cover in your life? NEXT!

-Blaming everything on your vice and saying it's not your fault:
Heard this yesterday "I'm forgetful. I smoke a lot of pot. It's not my fault."
Um, yes, yes it is your fault. I don't care if you smoke but turns out that if you are forgetful because you smoke pot it is entirely your fault. Don't smoke and don't be a stupid head.

-Girls shaving one side of their head, or a spot on their head... etc:
Maybe I'm a bit traditional in hair styles. I like different colors but I HATE dreads, or really intense asymmetrical cuts. Betty bangs only compliment the faces of a very select few and extensions should be worn with care. And put in with expertise. If your head looks like Edward Scissorhands went after it there's a problem. Guys generally won't notice, but I will.
The shaving of the side of the head... it reminds me of head trauma accidents. Did you recently need stitches? What is the meaning behind this new fashion statement? Did your 5 year old sister want to play beauty shop and ended up with real scissors?
I've seen some really pretty girls do this and I just. don't. get. it. Maybe it's an anti pretty thing. Maybe it's a feminist thing that others didn't know was feminist and started doing because they saw it on a celebrity. I don't know. All I know is STOP IT!

-Partying: how did the steps go again? I'm hung over. I can't get hungover from one drink? I guess I'm just tired then. Whatever, I want a Diet Coke. No, I don't want whisky in it. Gross.

This is why I spend a lot of time either by myself or working on projects like crocheting blankets, making collages, and reading 52 books in 52 weeks. Which reminds me, I have a book to go finish!

xoxo

This post was inspired by two things:
1) Amanda's post to the similar
2) Hanging out with some younger dudes the other day. (Don't worry no moves were made, I'm losing interest in the youngins! ps they were 21, definitely not hitting on high schoolers thank you very much!)