Home again

Well, my two weeks dog sitting Benny has come to an end. We laughed, we cried, we peed on the carpet... him more so than me. Or maybe it was me and I blamed it on him... Sorry Nicole. I got excited and nervous for your homecoming!

In all seriousness though, while Benny is a great dog, a lover and a cuddler to the extreme, I have to say I learned at the end of two weeks that I am NOT ready for my own dog (nor have a baby for that matter... don't worry parentals there was no worry of that happening any time soon but I did have mental baby fever and I think it's broke) Not puppy or otherwise. I'm not ready to give up some of my own free time or make sure to wake up for another creature. Some nights I don't want a heat box against my leg, it gets too hot and if I'm too hot I can't sleep. And if I don't sleep... oh I might hold grudges for the smallest things.

Don't get me wrong, Benny is awesome and wonderful, I just needed my own place again after two weeks. As shabby as I think this apartment of mine is, I did miss it after a while.

Probably because it's mine and I know how it works and I know the time it takes to get places from here and such.

These past two weeks were kind of like a staycation... kind of. There were still some hints of responsibility, but I did sleep in a real bed (not a queen air mattress) and cooked on another person's stove, and showered in a different shower. 

Speaking of, how in the heck did people shower comfortably in the claw tub turned shower showers? They look awesome but goodness with a shower curtain on both sides of you things can get cramped. Or maybe that's just my part of my come and go anxiety... who knows.

Point is, Nicole is back from her lovely vacation land and she came bearing gifts which was awesome. Benny and I made it through the two weeks together though I am 100% sure he's happier to see Nicole. She's a better puppy cuddler than I am! :) 

And after being away even just a little while, home sweet home is still just that.

xoxo

Happily Wasted: What I Mentally Consumed This Week

This week I stayed at Nicole's house, hanging out with her dog Benny so he doesn't get lonely. He is quite an interesting dog full of quirks...

I slowly started working on another blanket project but the yarn is really soft and therefore more slippery which makes the whole process a tad slower. I'm not in a rush to get serious about this project yet, just adding as I feel like it. 

I've been pretty mellow, just staying around Nicole's place with Benny. Trying to keep my debit card from making a lot of appearances around the town. You know how it goes, you let it out and all of a sudden it's like when you give a mouse a cookie... it just wants something else too.

Most of the week was pretty sunny and warm, but last night the heat broke into drizzle and then rain and  today, today fall showed up again. She was brisk and a little chilly and just perfect sweater weather. I guess October is a fine time for Fall to start. We shouldn't be too surprised. More time for indoor projects for sure. More time for coffee or tea dates and sitting in windows watching the rain fall. We'll see how positive I am about the colder temperatures when it really hits!

Here's what I passed the hot and not so hot days with this week:

Movies/Shows Watched

- Bones Season 4

- Spirited Away

Read (or currently reading)

The Sun Also Rises

The Art of Seduction (I would just like to say I am hating this book. Manipulation is not something I am a big fan of)
White Teeth
The Artist's Way

Favorite Posts/Articles

An awesome post about getting started with your own business! I'm excited this girl is moving to Portland... maybe I'll make a blog friend?!?!

I want this dress...

Advice for those going to (or even considering) grad school.

No makeup? ... well, maybe a little. 

More amazing tips from Kara at I Just Might Explode concerning holding it together.

Elsie gives some great thrifting tips... now if only I lived in a now that didn't get all thrift stores ransacked by pro thrifters all the time. ;) (She's also got a pretty new blog design goin on!)

I also went to a show at the Hawthorne Theatre. I saw Comeback Kid for maybe like the 7th time in my life. Who knows, maybe more. I feel like they were always coming through the Epicentre back in the day.
I don't know what it was about this show though, it made me a little sad. Usually I leave these kinds of shows all amped but either my blood sugar dropped or something about it hit me wrong. Who knows. The band did well though. I guess that's what really matters. And they played my favorite song. 

Has fall hit where you are yet?

xoxo

First Day of Fall

Weather (haha, get it? puuunny!) Portland knows it or not, today is the first official day of fall (by the time you're reading this it is actually the 2nd...). 

While we had one week (or maybe even just a few days) of fall weather the sun came back out for a couple more probably to wish us "so long" for the next several months. 

Instead of cry over the slowly (sometimes not so slowly) dropping temperatures I'm going to think of a list of things I am excited for come fall.

1. Pumpkin anything and everything. Starbucks brought it out a week or two before fall but I'm more looking forward to pumpkin muffins and such.

2. Kids and pets in Halloween costumes. Adorable.

3. Sweaters. I love sweaters so much and I'm going to get to wear them again!

4. Having an excuse to go shopping... I need to bring some serious pieces into my wardrobe, ones that layer well so I don't always run out of the house in jeans (possibly with tights underneath), a tank, a tee or a long sleeve, a sweater, a sweatshirt and a coat (that's for winter...). People in New York have far colder winters than we do and many still look good. Must learn that!

5. Baking

6. Reading with the sound of the rain against windows.

7. TEA! Oh goodness I think I'm going to attempt new teas this season. Maybe go to a tea shop or two. Really give it a go.

8. The sound of cars driving on wet streets. 

9. fire places (a friend has one... score!)

What are you looking forward to?

xoxo

Where I've Been

The past couple days (not to mention the last few years) have held a lot of time for self reflection. I've been sleeping a lot again which warns me of a dip toward depression. That scares me and at the same time I just feel blase about it. For a while I would try and fight any slightly down feelings and I think lately I've given into them a lot more. 

Neither option is all that healthy or productive. Both options leave me rooted to the spot either battering my own mind or laying in bed sleeping the day or night away until it's time to go to already organized events or functions. 

I find there's really no reason to be awake a lot of the time which isn't me saying I don't want to be alive, I hope no one misinterprets that. I do like life, I do like people (some of the time) and I love, love, love my friends and family. They are just all spread out and sometimes I feel incredibly disconnected from it all. I have good friends here but they all have their own lives and Nicole is off in Venice seeing awesome things and I'm staying at her house trying not to spend money.

See, I would get out of bed more if I thought I could go out and about. I can't though, when I go out I spend money. It might just be on food throughout the day, or it will be a new book (or five) or it will be a movie and popcorn and candy... I'm not outrageously out of control but there are very few things in life that don't cost money to do (beside the walking in parks and such, but I'm also a fearful person and wonder if walking alone through forest like parks is all that safe) and so I stay at home and work on projects or read books... but reading books ends in me laying down and then needing a nap. Then the night comes and I'm wide awake but no one else is or they are out partying. That's not my style. I don't party well (unless we're talking like a 6 year olds princess party complete with castle air jump) and so have a hard time connecting with a lot of people my age.

This is all a long winded beginning to the point of this post...

So, here goes....

Because I've been staying home a lot and haven't felt like blogging much besides my Happily Wasted posts (which are basically my favorite thing) and part of me feels bad and another part of me sees my follower numbers going down slowly and gets sad but I don't want to throw together posts just to hold onto random people that might not even really read my blog.

Another tangent, shoot.

So, here, point getting to... tonight after sleeping all day I found motivation to work on some things that have been on pause. A couple of e-courses I bought about a year ago that I have yet to finish or read through all the way. 

I started with the one I was mostly done with and realized I left off on the best post for the current night.

It's titled: How to Stay Motivated

Hmmm, yeah perfect.

In it, Teika, of Selective Potential, writes a couple of sentences that I wanted to mull over...

If you aren't dedicated to your blog, you'll lose motivation. That's why it's so important to blog only about things you are passionate about. If you find yourself saying to yourself, "Ugh, I don't feel like doing a blog post tonight" or "I'm just sick of my blog" or finding other excuses or reasons to not blog, you're probably not dedicated enough to it!

My first thoughts: it's not an issue of dedication to the blog, it's a matter of being dedicated to anything. Leave it to me to find life thoughts in a e-course on blogging. 

So I thought about that a little more. Yes I love my blog. I absolutely love sharing things with the unknown world, I'm not sure what it is about my personality that thrives off sharing what I'm thinking but it's definitely a big part of me. I love reading comments and connecting with new people. I love reading other people's blogs and finding pretty things. 

I love when I do find motivation and come up with something that I like. 

For instance, I was looking for a picture to put at the beginning of this post and just couldn't find something on piccsy or on pinterest that was anything close to what I had in mind. In a matter of minutes I thought of an idea with the stuff I had around me, took the picture with my phone, uploaded it to picnik and created what I wanted. 

It's times like those that I love blogging and such.

I think my biggest excitement in blogging is the sense of accomplishment. Of writing a good post that flows well or creating a new image or writing about something that others can really connect with. 

My thoughts after more time to think:

Last night (early this morning) I looked up commitment phobia/anxiety and found that I may as well have my picture with the definition on wikipedia (ick) because it describes me to a T. Not necessarily the relationship aspect, though that I'm sure is correct too. My real worry right now is for other things though, like committing to my next big step in life, committing to trying something new, committing to moving out of my apartment that I decided a ways back was too expensive...

basically committing to anything longer than a week or two.

And if we're talking about exercising or quitting Diet Coke, my mind balks at the idea of committing for even a week.

I'm not sure I have dedication to put into my own life right now. I'm living day to day but not even doing that really well and I'm a little worried. (Mom, please don't call worried about this, I'm going to find a psychologist.) 

I'm not worried about bodily harm, I'm not anywhere close to that. I'm not worried about not living, I still want to do that, I just want to be out of this violent cycle of being okay and then being depressed. My happy times come but they are fleeting and I'm basically torturing myself by not committing to anything.

I also have a noisy mind and know some of the reasons I do (or don't do) things. That's another hard part. I am constantly analyzing myself, my choices, my motives, everything. I can't make mistakes because I don't let myself do anything. 

Dedication... I need it.

As a silver lining, I think I'm coming closer to the peak of the mountain called "C's mental issues." Sometimes I forget, but looking back I have definitely come a long way. There are some big things I'm going to be tackling next but one step at a time I'm going to find a way to learn. Maybe I'll learn how to shut off this loud mind of mine and just experience some things.

So, in case you were wondering, that's where I've been and what I've been doing... reading, sleeping and worrying. 

xoxo

Happily Wasted: What I Mentally Consumed This Week

Well, I was going to post about how I haven't been super motivated to blog lately but I guess that's pretty obvious considering I just realized I skipped last week for this...
Oh well, I'll put both weeks into one and then next week we'll be right back on track.
This past week I finished the blanket project I've been working on and sent it off to Unicorn Sparkle(bottom)s. I'm so, so excited for her to get it. I think I sent it off by Tuesday so it should be there by next Thursday at the latest I think... Not sure about timing with parcel post really.
Since finishing that I've taken a bit of a break before working on the baby blanket that is next in line. I'm also dog sitting for Nicole while she is off galavanting around Venice with her Madre. Lucky girl! I think she's having fun. (duh)
I've been reading A LOT and have already passed the minimum book reading requirement for the month... go me!
Aaaand I've been having a lot of cuddle times with Nicole's cute dog Benny. He might make some picture appearances in the next week or so. I've been also taking a break from picture snapping as well for some reason. Just staying mellow really.
I'll start up again when it feels right.
Fall is here. I think the exact day it started was either the day before Nicole left or the day Nicole left. Thanks for that...
But in all seriousness, it feels really good to have some early fall weather here. The rain/drizzle is back and while I know I'm going to hate it soon enough I'm really enjoying the fact that flannels and beards are going to be even more prevalent than they already are here in Portland.
Sometimes I really love this place.

I would go on about things I love right now (I'm in a good mood) but instead I'll leave you with my consumed materials list for the past two weeks.

Movies/Shows Watched

- Bones Season 4

- Morning Glory

Listened To

- A Loss For Words - The Kids Can't Lose

- City and Colour - Little Hell
- A Day to Remember

Read (or currently reading)

The Sea Wolf - Jack London

I Am a Pencil
Water for Elephants
The Art of Seduction (this book is making me mad, mad, mad so I'm taking it in small doses)
Wildwood
Lit

Favorite Posts/Articles

I definitely read on National Read a Book Day (Tuesday) and this article had several good reasons to read... though, lets be real... I read with or without good reason!
Strangely serene pictures of baby animals in the womb.
Recipe for baked oatmeal
brownie sundaes in a jar
This music video, a post by Busy Bee Lauren reminded me of the song
a post full of pictures in a bookstore

Has fall hit where you are yet?

xoxo

Between the Lines: Wildwood

Normally for Between the Lines I share a favorite quotation from the book. This time I'm going to give you my kind of review.

I picked up Wildwood a couple weeks back while looking around Target. I was instantly drawn to the cover art. Don't judge a book by it's cover they say... but they make beautiful tattoo inspiration, I say.

While I am not getting any tattoos of the art on the cover I still wanted to read the book. It looked like a Portland-esque young adult book and as I showed it to Nicole she said, "Oh yeah, Colin Meloy's book" to which I first replied, "Um I dunno, look at the cover." And then I had a moment of second thought because The Decemberists were more than played out there in Portland (in my oh so humble opinion) and I have a hard time getting behind the over played. 

But the cover couldn't be ignored so I placed the book I had previously thought I was going to buy back where it came from and then purchased this one.

I didn't have a chance to start the book until today. I am dog sitting for Nicole while she is in Venice (her dog is currently yipping in his sleep... Benny nightmares) and so I've decided to take the time to read. Also, my latest blanket project is done (I will post pictures once Christina receives it) and I wanted to take a little break before I started in on the next one. There have been so many books staring at me and I wanted to read a few before I got wrapped up in episodes of Bones and yarn.

So today, today I started Wildwood. I'm not going to lead you astray, I definitely had the goal of reading it in one day. I knew it was probably possible and when I would take breaks in reading I realized I rather go on with the story than do anything else.

A point or two for the book already.

Okay, my opinion. At the end I loved the book. The last page leaves you with a smile on your face which I always appreciate. The start of the book gave me a teeny, tiny bit of trouble. Not that I didn't understand, just that I couldn't quiet my mind to focus for the first few pages. But once I read about two chapters in I think I was hooked. Honestly my distraction could have had reasons totally unrelated to the book but I'm not sure.

The illustrations found sporadically through the pages are gorgeous (and done by Colin's partner). 

I'm not really going to tell you about the story, just that it is definitely written with a slightly younger audience in mind (well younger than me) but the book is filled with great words that I wouldn't expect a young adult reader to know necessarily. Also, most of the subject matter is youngster friendly but there were a couple moments where I stopped and wondered if a young reader would know what the phrase I had just read meant.

I was not disappointed in the books. I say read it if you have the chance and if you don't, at least flip through a copy at a local bookstore (if they still have them in your town, if not, go to Target), the art is worth looking at. 

Last but not least I can say it was awesome to see some Portland locations reference in the book. While the story starts in what is mostly a modern day Portland it quickly finds itself in a different world but sometimes references the city the main character comes from. Sauvie Island gets a mention!

Have you read Wildwood? 

Portland Love: Saint Cupcake

Portland Love is a series in which I take to the streets of Portland, eating at new places, shopping at new shops, smelling old books and doing my best to not get too wet without the use of an umbrella. It's my way of falling in love with this city over and over again while sharing it with you. Enjoy! 

So I know how I've said a couple of times (here and here) that I like Betty Crocker cupcakes just as much as any gourmet cupcakes, but I'm now stepping off that soap box and stepping onto one that is in full support of a little place called Saint Cupcake.
To die for.
I want to go get one right now but know that I would end up with more than one and eat them all in one sitting (which I did recently... in my defense they were the mini ones, but there were about 6 of them).

The day I took the pictures for this post was the same day I went to Sauvie Island for berry picking. I have since been back a few (like 3 or 4) times and each time have been so very happy with the cupcakes.

Front window... 

Main wall

The cupcakes! And look at the little displays underneath. So cute!

living room birthday party

more reasons for cupcakes

patio eating

closer look at the cupcakes

I have yet to try the vegan ones.

they come in a pretty, pretty box

May have already put my finger in the frosting by that point....

The trifecta

Sampling...

The Flavors:
Vanilla with Chocolate Fudge Frosting
Red Velvet
Pumpkin Spice

All were delicious. I make sure to try a red velvet cupcake anywhere they are offered to figure out what I feel about the bakery. I'm a snob like that. Saint Cupcake did a really good job. It wasn't too dry and the frosting was rich and delicious.
The Pumpkin Spice I now get every time I go. I have found that any pumpkin flavored treat I get is usually really moist which is perfect for me. I love pumpkin things, I was so excited when I saw that cupcake offered.
The Vanilla with Chocolate Fudge Frosting was the closest to my betty crocker cupcakes but I fully admit it was at least 5 times better. Frosting not out of a small container is probably better for me in the long run anyway. :)

The woman helping me the first and second time I went was awesome. She was friendly, helpful and answered all of my questions. I asked her when I walked in if I could take pictures for my blog and her only request was that she be given a chance to tidy up the cupcake trays. Of course! Probably why you should always ask small businesses if you can take pictures. Maybe they want a chance to put their best face forward. Honestly I'm going to say a bunch of amazing things about this place anyway, but I liked how she thought.

She was really helpful, the cupcakes are divine, every single one of them...

What I really like about Saint Cupcake
1) The cupcakes, duh
2) The selection: while some of them do change there are many of the same flavors every time I go
3) The selection again: There are more than 5 or 6 flavors to choose from and they all have distinct differences
4) Vegan options, and not just one I might add
5) exceptional customer service
6) proximity to me
7) The store Noun behind Saint Cupcake... SC is the front room and the back room is a store called Noun that has a bunch of awesome things. A bunch. In fact, when I use to live here a few years ago the front room was where the cash register for Noun was and the back part of the second room was Saint Cupcake. The set up makes great sense now (don't get me wrong, it was cute and fun before too) and I need to stop gushing now because it's getting embarrassing.

Moral of this story, go to Saint Cupcake!!!

Saint Cupcake

SC Galore
1138 SW Morrison
Portland, OR 97205

SC Deluxe (The one I go to)
3300 SE Belmont,
Portland, OR 97214

xoxo

If you have a place you want me to check out feel free to leave me a comment or email me! 

Happily Wasted: What I Mentally Consumed This Week

While the first day of the week started out a tad on the poop shoot side, (Thanks again Chase, Mazda and the DMV) it picked up and got rolling and everything went back to normal and all was well. Lalala happy rays of sunshine! (I am writing this on the poop shoot side, looking forward with some positivity).
By the end of Monday I was back on my project, finished all squares AND started connecting them with the remnants of the small roll of yarn I picked up.
Come Wednesday Chase still hadn't pulled through and I hadn't mustered up the will to visit the DMV to sit for several hours so a hermit I stayed.
Finally got my title on Thursday and went straight to the DMV then Target. Bought some cute stuff, put my plates on, hung out with Nicole... ate some delicious Sweet Tomatoes (Souplantation in California) and crocheted for 7 hours while watching 2 movies (both with Bill Murray) and many episodes of Bones.
Friday and Saturday were calm, and tonight I went out on the town but once again realized why home and/or conversation with good friends beats the party scene any day. (Just in case you are wondering, I did go out with a good friend and we did have a good conversation... so not all was lost!)

All in all, not too bad for the first week of September!

Movies/Shows Watched
- 30 Minutes Or Less

- Bones: Into Season 4

- America the Beautiful
- The Price of Beauty - first 3 episodes

- Pretty Little Liars Summer Finale... ugh, always leaves us hanging!
- Lost in Translation
- Zombieland
- Easy A (the beginning anyway, then left Miss M's house)

Listened To

- My relax playlist, a mix of City and Colour, Death Cab For Cutie and more

- A Loss For Words
- Mumford and Sons
- City and Colour - Little Hell

Read (or currently reading)

The Sea Wolf - Jack London

Favorite Posts/Articles

-I was looking for a good (easy) tomato sauce to start making and what do you know, Ms. Emma had just what I was looking for!

- While I didn't go to art school I love Kara's post on 15 things she would tell her Freshman self.

- The most adorable interview of friends who happen to be two of my favorite bloggers...

- This awesome photoshoot, not to mention the fact that she's an arial ninja!
- Most awesome date night? yes.

What have you visually consumed this week?

xoxo

What I'm Doing Today

Woooo! Learned how to make a GIF! Well, not really. Just uploaded the pictures to a website and it created it. But hey, never done that before!

Here's a little secret, when I was sewing that part it turns out I took 45 minutes to sew the wrong ends together... yup. Useless. I can say that the video making was not the reason for the mistake though! That I did at the end of sewing and THEN found out my mistake.

Oh projects!

xoxo

Books of August

I started this post twice midway through the month without realizing it until about a week ago. This month went by slow and extremely fast at the same time. On one hand it seems like ages ago that I read Long Quiet Highway (the first book from this month) but on the other hand I swear I just paid rent for August a couple of days ago. 

Regardless of what my mind feels about August passing, it has gone and done it anyway. Now it's September, back to school time. I am considering taking a couple classes at the community college to quell my longing to be back in a classroom. 

All that aside, here are the books I read in August!

I'm going to say I liked this book, because I did, but I'm not going to keep it for my collection. I bought this book around the same time that I bought Through Painted Deserts and I think I assumed they were both about road trips, I mean, the cover even looks like it's about a road trip does it not? But the author comes recommended by Julia Cameron and so I picked it up and read it the end of July and beginning of this month. Mostly this books is about Natalie's relationship with learning Zen teachings and applying it to writing in a way. I found it interesting and informative but not as good as Julia Cameron's Sound of Paper. 

This book was quite sad and depressing but definitely beautifully written. One character I liked the most while the others just made me more sad. I thought about watching the movie before I read the book but now I'm not so sure, I try to watch things that have the cliche happy ending and not the beautifully written but not exactly happy ending.

Awesome. Love her, it's no secret what so ever. Love her style, got so many ideas for pieces I need for my closet! Taking it slow though, credit card is locked away.

(I am not counting this book in the 52 in 52 because there isn't THAT much to really read and I would feel like I was cheating.)

Best book of the year. Other books are going to have a hard time getting to this level. I've read some awesome books thus far but this one takes the cake.

Semi predictable but definitely a pleasurable read. While I don't think it's a read again type of book I am inspired to read her other books and some of the scenes still stick out in my mind really well.

Loved the movie and didn't know that this book was what inspired the movie until I found it at the bins! Awesome. Definitely different than the movie, which is good considering I've seen the movie several times. This book definitely told an uplifting tale. 

We have 19 weeks left in the year and I have 12 books left to read to meet 52 in 52! Think I can do it? Yes, yes I do! 

Jeeze, 19 weeks left in this year. It speeds by faster and faster with each passing year. Cliche I know!

What have you been reading? 

xoxo

Eye of the iphone

I haven't done a photo dump in a while. Not going to lie, I think the term photo dump, well mostly the dump part, doesn't sound that great. I'm sitting here trying to come up with something I like better but it's early in the morning (or late at night...) and it's just not happening. 

I did like my title though. I guess that's the extent of my creativity at this time.

These pictures are from the last couple of weeks. 

Enjoy!

Favorite Thai Food

Best outfit (the dress behind me makes me weak but it was too expensive)

A mess of lights

Yes, this is a flyer for a lost imaginary friend. This one was the first I saw and later after that one was gone there was a makeshift sign with it by the sidewalk outside of my complex's parking lot. Awesome.

I wish I got more into that book. The title was awesome.

Cereal is also awesome.

Daily short walk to Plaid Pantry for Diet Coke... this pretty thing had the sun shining perfectly behind it. (And instagram also helped)

War Paint

Yes, a free door. To where? I'm not sure.

Miss Kitty wants some of my soda, she's pretending here she isn't THAT interested. (Neighbor's cat, I don't have any animals at the moment)

Classic foot picture, but this time while waiting at a bus stop!!! Yes, I rode the bus again. It was just like old times. Smelled of pee and crack. Or at least what I assume crack mixed with pee smells like, not really sure. Haven't ever been THAT close...

 I thought about sitting on them and then realized the chance that there are a ton of bed bugs OR scabies crawling on them made me think twice. Thanks but no thanks really.

This is where a bird almost perfectly timed his poop while I was walking by. He did it a tad too early to get my head and just got my hand and phone. Luckily I had antibacterial... I put so much of that on my hands and then on a part of my sweater to wipe down the phone. Darn bird. That's good luck somewhere though right? To get pooped on. I then had a dream a couple nights ago that I got pooped on TWICE in one day. I think in my dream I counted the real life incident and the time in the dream. Crazy subconscious processing there.

A celebrating street sign. And a pretty sunset in the background.

Lloyd Center at night when closed. Nicole, Bryan and I walked all around the inside after our movie got out and we found one exit but it was locked so we walked all the way back to where we started then walked around the mall to get to Bryan's vehicle. Silly really. I was cursing the locks that night.

Love the simplicity of bath feet pictures.

What have you been taking pictures of lately?

xoxo