The Holidays

It doesn't much feel like the holidays around here. I don't know what it is, if there's something specific that I'm missing, or maybe a collections of things. All I know is that Christmas is less than a week away, less than seven days away and I have little to show for the season. I've been to one of the bf's Christmas parties, and today, we had the work Christmas party. There was a Secret Santa gift exchange, we cracked open poppers, we laughed and we even had a little to drink. But still, it doesn't feel like it's here.
The weather has been cooler, I've been wearing a pleather jacked, a beanie and multiple layers frequently. I've been burning cinnamon and spice candles, and wearing thick socks. I've become best friends with my space heater at home and at work, and still, I don't feel it. Gift baskets come into work, filled with goodies that the boss lets us gobble up. Still, no Christmas feeling.
I've bought presents that I took care in planning, I bought the wrapping paper that I've always wanted to wrap my presents in, and the bakers string. We spent a night at my dad's house eating pizza and decorating a tree. Somehow it all feels disconnected.
I've realized that this year very few houses are strung with lights, I would say about 1 in 7 in my neighborhood. That feels unnatural, maybe I'm just remember the past different, but I swear more houses were decorated with lights in previous years.
There's also no tree in my house. I think that's part of it. Maybe if I had bought myself a little tree, set it up on a shelf so I could see it every morning, maybe then it would feel more real. Maybe if I drove to find more houses, and bought myself an atrocious sweater with cats on it, I would feel like it was here. Maybe if I made more cookies, or ate more candy canes, or... maybe if I watched the Christmas episodes of The O.C., maybe then it would feel like Christmas.
Maybe if I still worked retail, or even at Cinepolis. Maybe then it would still feel like Christmas, hectic, chaotic, and pushy. But I don't want that Christmas anyway. Sometimes, just sometimes, when I'm in a parking lot, it feels like Christmas, but not in the way I want it to, in the "people are dummies" and "learn to drive" kind of way. I don't want to be a Scrouge.

Christmas use to be such a magical time. I really want to know how to get that feeling back. I want to know what I have to do to remember the magic that was Christmas as a kid. Not even the gifts... but the magic behind the season. The anticipation, the excitement, the laughing and playing.

Luckily it's not over yet. I still have 6 days to get some feeling in. Maybe if I do at least one Christmasy thing a day I'll get it. Even just a glimpse of it.

So right now I found my Christmas songs on itunes, and I set them to play. Tomorrow I'll be drinking some peppermint mocha creamer in my decaf coffee. I'll be making some cookies, possible some of the sugar variety, I'll be watching Elf with my man, snuggling and possibly wearing the aforementioned atrocious sweaters... I'll be making some nutella hot chocolate and maybe some cinnamon whipped cream. I'll be wrapping presents and watching the Chrismukkah episode from each season of The OC.
I'll be trying to find fires to curl up by, or trees to smell. I'll probably go buy some candy canes and have them all around me. I'll be watching a movie with grandma, mom and the siblings on that side, I'll be spending Christmas with my dad's family and most likely Dan. I'll be looking for a place to donate some food, maybe even just drop some into a San Diego Food Bank canister at Vons.

I'll be doing all I can to get that feeling back. The magic of the season.

If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them!

xoxo

The Weekly

The Weekly is a Friday, Sunday... or maybe just about any day, round up. The Weekly is a processing and a record. It is a mix up of currently and around here with a look at the past and the future. 

Adventures:

Last weeks adventures were in eye exams, Christmas lights and slowly getting back into working out. The song on the ipod, Dark Horse by Ms. Katy Perry. It's probably the main motivation for getting back to dance class. 

I went and walked Christmas Lane with The Brows who have added a new baby Brows to the mix. It was really good to see them again. Then took a dance class with a friend that moved away about 6 months ago. She's visiting and it was good to see her again. 

I tried on new glasses at Costco but the boy told me the ones I have are good. I dunno though, I kinda really like these now that I've looked at the picture again. 

Oh my gosh, and I went and ate at Slaters 50/50, I did not have a burger though, so I can't really speak to the taste of their specialty.

Thinking about:

The new year! What my goals are going to be, what this space is going to look like, what all the different possibilities are. Endless! I'm a little hesitant to be all gung ho about it being a GREAT NEW YEAR etc etc etc because I tried that last year and mannnn, it's been a doozy. Full of learning, but definitely not a great new year on the surface. Anyway, thinking about goals and trying to be more realistic while also pushing myself. Being realistic helps me moving forward instead of making these grand goals by the dozens and then letting them all fall to the wayside. 

Loving: 

-Friday Night Lights. Obsessed again. About halfway into Season 3. Stoked.

-My new beanie and fake leather jacket I treated myself to. Keeps me warm (if not a little static-y... must fix that part) 

- Peppermint Mochas from Starbucks with half the pumps of mocha and peppermint, so it's not too sweet. Delicious. I did get myself some peppermint mocha creamer though, so I just need some decaf coffee and I can make myself the same thing for a small fraction of the cost. Even better.

Reading: 

Ditched two of the books I started reading last year and got myself a whole new stack from the library. I did finish Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist and I can't wait to read her other books. 

Cooking:  

I've definitely slowed down in the cooking department. Took a break, brought some other goals to the forefront. But tonight I decided it was a night to make a chicken dish I made before. 52 dishes really did work!

I also made some chocolate banana bread, it was suppose to be a swirl and I didn't manage that and they didn't really come out that good. But I tried. Better luck next time. Goodness knows I'll still eat them. 

Working on: 

Figuring out what I want my life to look like right now. And then making small steps to get myself there. 

Celebrating/Moment of gratitude: 

- Seeing old friends

- baby giggles

- entertaining children with some simple origami 

- the soreness in my muscles from a dance class well done, I still have a lot of what I left with, but I have a LOT of muscle to gain back.

Lovely Links:

Something I want to make /// Nutella Swirl Waffles

My next trick to entertain a 3 year old /// Origami Christmas Tree

A book I want but probably won't buy /// Martha Stewart's Cooking School

And a move I want to learn /// One day I'll talk about it more

xoxo

The Weekly

a gorgeous morning view/ the man/ one sip of moonshine/ Insurgent/ cinnamon rolls/rolling out the dough/ sister's birthday

The Weekly is a Friday, Sunday... or maybe just about any day, round up. The Weekly is a processing and a record. It is a mix up of currently and around here with a look at the past and the future. 

Adventures:

Delicious Saturday breakfast at Don's Country Kitchen, I highly recommend it.

Family pictures at Kit Carson Park. Pretty sure there was a High School drug deal going on in the parking lot but the actual park was lovely. 

Thinking about:

2014. It's December and I've finished my 52 in 52 early, which is quite a shock considering I didn't do it for so long. But the baking bug bit me these past few months and I definitely caught up. It has made me think of what next year's 52 in 52 will be. I need it to be a challenge, but not so big of a challenge that I get overwhelmed. The first year I picked books because I hadn't been reading that much, the second year pictures because I wanted to have a better relationship with my cameras, this year I picked cooking because I don't know how to make very many meals and at at restaurants a lot.

This coming year... I am scared to say, is probably going to be about exercise. 

There's other stuff I'm thinking about for next year too, what my motto is going to be, possibly "lean in" which will go with the 52 in 52 perfectly... more on that closer to the new year...

What books I'm going to read for a second time next year, if I'm going to take a Spanish class, or maybe a writing one... I love fresh starts. And I know you can decide to have them any time, but the new year, and then my birthday, are my favorite ones.

Loving: 

The written word 

These posts. Even if they are the only posts I have all week.

Planning for the new year.

Pinterest... obsessed and using too much data scrolling through that lovely site

Reading: 

-Read Insurgent, book two in the Divergent series. Love this books so much. Can't wait to read Allegiant, but I have to wait until Christmas at least because I asked for it with the Secret Santa thing at work. 

- Started to read Organize your Mind, Organize Your Life. Not sure if I am going to stick with it or not.

- Started Everything's Perfect When You're a Liar. Not sure if I am in the right mood to read it but I do love the author's tweets. @KellyOxford

Cooking:  

-Attempted overnight oatmeal twice, once with steel cut oats and the other time with quick oats but neither worked out. Not sure what to do about that.
- Also attempted churro popcorn... no success yet
- made cinnamon chips (like chocolate chips, but cinnamony sweetness) for aforementioned churro popcorn recipe 

- Cooked a delicious dinner of chicken with sweet potatoes and onions in the oven. I ate every last bit of it over a three day period. That never happens. I almost always throw away some leftovers.

- overnight cinnamon rolls. I did it, I faced a cooking fear or two (dough and perceived difficulty) and made some absolutely delicious cinnamon rolls. I am going to tweak the recipe in a few spots next time and I'll remember to have cream cheese to actually make a frosting/glaze, but they were plenty sweet without it this time around. Very happy with how they came out.

Working on: 

Ideas for Christmas presents. I have decided I have to calm down and think of a good present, not the peerrrrfect one. Too much pressure. Last year I did great for my Dad and C. 

I'm envious of the people that are pretty much done with Christmas shopping by Thanksgiving. 

Celebrating/Moment of gratitude: 

- The sunset on any given day

- Driving to work via Coast Highway and seeing waves crash into the rocks. That was a great way to start the morning, and I had cinnamon rolls to bring to my coworkers, it was a great way to start the morning.

- Quiet moments with the man, holding hands. 

Lovely Links:

Before you press snooze
I want to make a light up marquee
Two great posts from Allison Vesterfelt about feeling discouraged and quitting something
This post about a photographer's rituals makes me itch to take my camera out more

xoxo

The Weekly

The Weekly is a Friday, Sunday... or maybe just about any day, round up. The Weekly is a processing and a record. It is a mix up of currently and around here with a look at the past and the future. 

Loving: life. I get stressed out frequently by so many things, simple and not so simple, but when I take a step back and look at how far I've come and what's happened in the last year, I feel better. I am changing, slowly but surely, into the person I want to be, I have an amazing guy at my side who adores me, I have a family who loves me through and through, I have a job that gives me an insane Christmas bonus after being there three weeks... I have a car that works, a roof over my head, a steady paycheck, I don't have to work on the weekend anymore... I could go on. But basically, life is good. Even when I wonder if it's not.

Challenged by: Gratitude and worry. Gratitude will probably always be a challenge. It's so easy to forget to be grateful for the small things, it's so easy to forget to be grateful when my stomach is doing weird things, or I'm irritated because I haven't had alone time. But everything that's been around me, and the food that has gone into my stomach (even if it isn't digesting as I want it to) are blessings. Huge blessings. And gratitude is important. So next week I'm going to answer this with something new, but this week again... gratitude.

Learning: how to share my life. It seems like a slightly strange thing to say. But I've been single most of my life, and now I have this incredible person that I'm sharing my life with and it's a learning process. Sometimes it's so easy, and other times I have to unlearn old habits. Totally worth it, every step of the way, and definitely a learning process. If I'm getting repetitive in this too, I apologize, but gratitude and sharing are big things for me right now.

Adventures: My man met both families this weekend. Totally champ through it all. Not that my families are really hard to meet. They are both quite welcoming and loving. They are also hilarious... apple doesn't fall far from the tree ;) so, I think it went well for all involved. I sure had a good time.

We went to La Jolla Cove and looked at some fat, lazy seals sunbathe, walked along the cove, also killed time before our friends had their baby. We saw The Book Thief and it was a gorgeous (and definitely sad) movie... what else? I worked on my blanket some more, we got delicious bbq last night... oh, and slept a whole bunch. Lots of sleep happened this four day weekend.

Reading: Divergent and falling in love with it again. 

Cooking:  chocolate chip cookies (still trying to find a perfect recipe), cinnamon chips (like chocolate chips but cinnamon, because cinnamon chips are hard to find), brownies and marshmallows dipped in caramel and then chocolate. The last one was a bust, didn't melt the chocolate right and the caramel dipped marshmallows stuck to the foil so it became messy real fast. Oh well... can't win every recipe.

Oh yes, and the slow cooker oatmeal came out pretty good. 

Working on: Slowing down mentally. I had a great weekend but at times I would get stressed thinking that I should be doing something. That I had four days and what do I have to show for it. And then I would make myself sit for a second, and think of all the things that did happen during those days and how I don't have to always be getting things done. Phew... definitely a work in progress. Going to have to make my week nights less about baking and cooking and fit more of my other projects in. No such thing as a perfect balance but I'm working on making life just a little richer. 

Celebrating/Moment of gratitude: Holding baby J today. Brand new babies are a thing of wonder. Well, humans... scratch that... everything on this earth can be a thing of wonder if we let it... but babies, it's easy to feel their importance, it's hard not to be floored with awe when in their presence. 

Random thought: I'm sure I had one this week... no, I'm positive I did... but I can't remember it. So, I'm going to remember to write one down for next week.

Emotionally: tuckered out but positive 

Lovely Links:

I am honored to be listed on this reading list

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one starting to think about my plans for the new year

Bought these silicone baking mats, love them!

xoxo

The Weekly

The Weekly is a Friday, Sunday... or maybe just about any day, round up. The Weekly is a processing and a record. It is a mix up of currently and around here with a look at the past and the future. 

Loving: baking, standing mixers, pinterest recipes and feeling like I can actually successfully make some/most of them

Challenged by: Gratitude for things that seem like a pain in the butt. Grace for people that cut me off. Grace for people I love including myself.

Learning: to love the process. I found my love for the process with baking recently and now I feel weird on nights that I'm not making/baking something. It's no longer a rush, it's a process and I don't even eat that many of the treats I make, I generally give them away. The enjoyment others get out of them makes it so worth it.

Adventures: I saw CATCHING FIRE with my younger brother, then Saturday Dan and I went to Sea World. 

Reading: Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist. She was a speaker at the conference I went to in Nashville and I finally picked up one of her books. It's lovely, and so necessary to my mindset right now. I have noticed a huge difference in positivity in the past few days since starting to read it. Funny how that happens.

Cooking:  Baked Donuts of all sorts like Ol' Dirty Bastard (plain donut with chocolate glaze, peanut butter swirls and crushed oreos) and Maple Bacon. I might try a chocolate donut with peppermint glaze at some point. Who knows. 

Also in the last week I have made: brownies, chocolate chip cookies, slow cooker creamy chicken, muesli bread, nutella hot chocolate with cinnamon whipped cream, slow cooker french toast, oatmeal chocolate chip pancakes
and tonight I am making slow cooker banana cinnamon oatmeal

Working on: Slowing down with my cooking. I get this way about a lot of things. When I'm in to working out I do it all the time, when I'm into cooking and baking I do it... well, all the time. Whatever I am stoked on I want to do just about all of the time and start feeling a little weird when I can't. I don't want to go out, I don't want to be social, I just want to read/cook/bake/organize/blog/whatever. I think I keep going because I don't want it to run out, or I want to do as much as possible of the thing until I burn out, because I feel like burn out is inevitable. At least with me. I still have more to learn with loving the process for sure.

Celebrating/Moment of gratitude: getting a lot of things done on a Saturday night. For the first time in a while ever in our relationship Dan and I spent the night at my place and had nothing that needed to be done in the morning. It was glorious. I made the poor guy entertain himself while I cleaned my room and put away clothes from the weekend and did laundry, I also made him breakfast for dinner, and then I cleaned a little more. He was also a great sport about going to two different Targets and a Bed Bath and Beyond in one day. The same day we went to Sea World no less. He's definitely a keeper. So basically, this whole weekend was a moment of gratitude... and Friday. Holy canoli, my new boss gave us all our Christmas bonus Friday. I was floored by her generosity. I was then able to buy some more work clothes that I've been eyeing, put some away for Christmas gifts, put some toward my credit card and the majority in savings.
As for the little moments... 

Random thought: It started with thinking about how a cafe in the Oceanside courthouse doesn't take cash. Then I thought maybe they just really had a hard on for the olden days which made me think that maybe they would get wooden teeth if they could which then led me to think of how a mouth full of wooden teeth would smell. 

Emotionally: feeling grateful and adored 

Lovely Links:

I've been allowing my brain free rain with the neurosis, I've been needing to remember this /// My Problems Aren't Your Responsibility
Two blogs/bloggers that get to my heart every post /// Allison Vesterfelt and (the aforementioned) Shauna Niequist

In closing, this week has been wonderful. I've crossed so many things off my mental to do list it's crazy. I'm so grateful for everything this week has brought my way.

xoxo

A Personal History of Mornings

When I was a very little girl mornings were my favorite. It didn't matter what time I went to bed, I was up with the sun, happy, and hungry as can be. If you had happened to be in the apartment at 6am on any given day you would have heard a cheerful call of "I want crunchies, I WANT CRUNCHIES..." coming from my room. I had a daily love affair with breakfast, specifically cheerios, and crunchies was their name.

My mom was not a morning person, so as soon as my motor skills could handle it, she would put some milk in a small cream pitcher before going to sleep and leave it on a low shelf in the fridge so I could get my bowl of cereal, pour my own milk, and enjoy my breakfast while she got just a few more winks of sleep. I thoroughly enjoyed this time, I would eat my crunchies, though I probably no longer called them that, and then I would read (as small children do, looking at the pictures and remember the story their parents told them many times over), watch cartoons, or play with my barbies until she woke up.

When I was a little older still, motor skills fully functioning, I would pour my own cereal (and milk, straight from the carton) and then I would sit on the couch and read until my mom was awake. I was always happy in those quiet times. I had a book, and I had breakfast, let the others sleep through the morning. This was my time.

My grandpa and I bonded over our mornings when we were together. He would get up, look outside, talk about how it was going to be a nice day, and then go make some oatmeal for himself and some cereal for me. If we were at the lake house, we would sit out on the deck, watching for jackrabbits and other woodland creatures. If we were at their desert house, it was hummingbirds, and when breakfast was done, checking on watermelons or strawberries in the garden. I have so many great memories of him, but our mornings were my favorite. I was his early bird.

Then something changed, maybe hormones, maybe after seeing people sleep in and talk about how wonderful it was, I started to do it to. One day I woke up after staying at my grandma's house, thinking it was maybe 8am at the latest, it was 10am. I was excited (and probably a little nervous, my anxiety about doing things right started young). Finally I could do what others did. Little did I know that this would be the start of my battles with the morning.

My relationship with mornings ever since that fateful day, have changed. Through middle and high school sleep was my new thing. On weekends I would stay in bed as late as allowed. Maybe I was trying a new personality on for size, maybe I wanted to be more like other people. I don't know. But it has carried on to the current, and sadly, I think I've spent a greater portion of my life not being an early bird.

The mornings are something I wish I loved but have a hard time waking up for. I've been thinking, planning and lazily goaling to change back into a morning person. One that wakes up with time before work. Time to read, or write or maybe even work out (if I get really ambitious). I don't want to feel rushed but when the alarm goes off I just keep hitting snooze, hazily calculating the amount of time I will have to get ready. There's no time for reading or writing this way, there's barely even enough time to get properly ready! Something has to change.

These past few weeks I've been getting up earlier on a more consistent basis and I looking for ways to get more time. I've been going to sleep earlier most nights, never hitting past 12, rarely hitting past 11:15. I've been thinking of things that I have to get up for, this morning it was to turn off a slow cooker that I had started in the night, it had been cooking french toast and I had wondered how it would go. I don't have great reasons ever morning yet. Sometimes I still sleep until the last possible minute and then throw myself together and leave for work just making it on time. Those days don't feel as good. And I'm trying to remember that when the snooze button seems like the best option.

I want to get back to my early bird ways. I want to rise with, maybe even sometimes before, the sun and be happy about it. I want to eat my breakfast, write a few words, or maybe read a few, stretch and slowly introduce myself to the morning.  I want to feel productive, or at least calm before work so that after I'm not rushing to fit everything into my night. Baking, writing, reading, blog posting, watching Friday Night Lights, and who knows what else. That's what keeps me up late, the feeling that I still have more to do. I get inspired at night, by maybe that's just something I've trained myself to be, and it can be reversed again. Little things are coming together to make this happen. I get myself in bed by 10:30pm on good nights, I think of things to do in the morning so I don't press snooze until it's rush time and it also helps that the man friend goes to bed early during the week. By 930pm our conversations are done, so I have no distractions there.

I want to be an early bird again, I want to feel the peace of the morning daily. I think the morning has a lot more to offer me than the depths of night.

xoxo

photo credit: Frederic Poirot via photopin cc

On the Empty Page, Loving the Process and Baked Donuts

It seems that lately I have had a big of blogger's block. Really quite frustrating. I think about this space and know I want to write, I might even open up a webpage and type in blogger, I might even stop myself from being distracted by bloglovin and click on New Post, but then I just sit and stare. Sometimes I start typing things, and then delete... write some more, then delete again. It's been this way since Nashville. I still don't know what to write about that experience. Maybe I'm in that place where I think everything has to be perfect again, where I can't just write to document, but this has to be a blog that will one day generate income.

I put a lot of pressure on myself in just about every aspect of life, this one is no different. Maybe I should start a challenge, a 52 in 52 blog posts next year maybe. Sometimes that's not so hard, but other times it is. That one would have to be week specific, unlike this year where I've been catching up with my 52 dishes in leaps and bounds for the last two months.

Speaking of that, if anyone were to wonder what I've been up to, I would have to say it's one of three things... working at the new job, spending time with my man or cooking. But when I say cooking I mostly mean baking, and when I say baking I mostly mean donuts. I found myself an obsession it seems. It started in Nashville, I had a delicious pumpkin donut from Ellie's Doughnuts and I wanted to see if I could recreate it. So I searched pinterest for a recipe, and decided baked was how I was going to have to go (one day soon I might dive in to fried, but until then, I have a tin for the oven). I made them and shared them on the first day of my new job. I had a pretty warm welcoming. Later that week I brought buttermilk donuts with cinnamon and sugar on top, and then the next week Cinnamon Roll Donuts.

I've gone on to other donuts since then, figured out the perfect base donut, worked on several glazes, taken suggestions, and thought of possible christmas presents... it's been an adventure. Like most of my obsessions, I thing this one might die out somewhat soon, there's only so much I want to do with a donut. But there's some good, no, great, that has come out of this. I've fallen in love with the standing mixer. We have one at my house and we have one at my dad's house and I'm so ready to use it every day. Not only this, but I've found a love of baking. What use to be a wild hair occasion has become an almost nightly ritual. This week I even got up early on a Monday to bake. Me, early... on a Monday. It's  some sort of amazing and I'm really liking it.

I know that sooner or later I'll have to cut back a little bit, I have other things to do after work, I have actual dinner/meals to be made as things made with heaping amounts of sugar don't count. But I'm happy, because I've found my love of the process, at least in the baking kitchen.

I'm hoping to find a way to learn to love the process with a couple more things, like working out maybe, and even writing here. Maybe then I won't get so caught up, maybe then more posts will make it out. It's time to experiment, I don't have to know exactly what my blog's going to be. I can let go and just write.

xoxo

Lately I've Been...

I'm taking some time (probably again, maybe I have always been taking time) to figure out what I really want to go here. What I will be motivated to share and update. Until I have a better idea of a schedule or even what I want this space to look like, I will be posting sporadically. But that's not really anything new.

Lately I've been:
working on... a new blanket, super excited about this one because it's black, white and gold!

learning how... to be in a relationship. I tried to think of a better way to say it, but that's what it is. I'm learning how to shift and communicate and do anything but pout. I'm learning how to bring down some barriers that I didn't even know were there. Being in a relationship is turning into a humbling thing. I'm not perfect, and I'm not always easy to be with. That doesn't mean I'm not worth it (which is what I use to think) it just means I have to remember that it's a two way bumpy road.

also learning how... to enjoy the process. I'm learning this with cooking and with the aforementioned relationship, and just about everything. Not everything needs to be done fast, nothing needs to be rushed through. Enjoy it, the process isn't so bad when you learn to enjoy it. Everything gets a little better when you develop a respect and even an affinity for the process.

baking... donuts like a woman on a sugar driven mission. Pumpkin spice, blueberry lemon, buttermilk with cinnamon and sugar topping, cinnamon roll... and who even knows what's next!

acclimating to... my new job. I now have a 9-5, monday through friday job and it has been overwhelming because it is in a field I have not been in, ever, but the people I work with are pretty awesome and the boss is generous and caring... so I think I'm in a pretty good spot. AND I was able to put my availability at the job I was so tired of, on hold. I might need some extra cash on a weekend or two in the future, but for now, I can work my 9-5 and spend the weekend exploring and stuff with the man.

brainstorming... possible ideas for side jobs, one of which may just be teaching booty bounce classes. Another idea... holiday card photo shoots.

reading... Mr. Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore and re-reading Catching Fire. So excited for the premiere!!! Mr. Penubra's is really, really good, stoked I picked it up. I've been taking a break from self improvement books lately, I wanted to give myself some time to acclimate to the new job, which can be overwhelming. But I will be back in the thick of those sooner than later I am sure.

enjoying... going to bed before 12, generally before 11:15 (!!!) and waking up semi early. I'm even thinking about asking to come in 30 minutes earlier each day so I can leave earlier. Old Corey would NEVER have thought about that.

realizing... in bits and pieces that I have made progress this year. Sometimes it felt like I was taking giant steps back, but somehow it's been working out. This is definitely been a year of (sometimes painful) learning.

Well, I'm falling asleep sitting up so I must sign off for now.

xoxo

The Weekly

The Weekly is a Friday (sometimes Sunday) round up, a processing and a record. It is a mix up of currently and around here with a look at the past and the future. 

Loving: That Imogene + Willie regramed a picture I took in their store while in Nashville!
Also, going to bed earlier than usual (10:30pm is the goal.)

Mulling over: so many things right now. the "right" way to go about so many different life experiences, as well as what the best move forward is in job hunting. There's a lot, a lot, of mulling going on here.

Challenged by: finding a dress (evening gown) with a very limited budget for the Marine Ball in a couple of weeks. (FOUND ONE!!! Borrowing a lovely dress from my stepmom) Figuring out a halloween costume with an even more limited budget. (I'm thinking Daisy Duke) 

Learning: How to communicate my displeasure in healthier and more effective ways. Aka, talking about them at all instead of getting really quiet and freaking out my bf. 

Looking forward to: the Marine Ball at the beginning of next month, Dia de Los Muertos and getting an awesome job.

Reading: So many partially read books... Still going through Money: A Love Story. Looking for a non-self help book to take a break/escape with. I'm thinking I'll re-read Catching Fire.

Cooking: pumpkin oatmeal chocolate chip cookies and lemon orzo salad with asparagus 

Working on: my resume

Celebrating/Moment of gratitude: Eating asparagus after blanching it. I forgot how much I liked it. 

Randomly Searched: The origin of lawns and Can you take a plant on a plane?

Emotionally: disjointed, stressed, worried. But then there are moments of grateful, adored, entertained

Lovely Links:

A local blog I've falling in love with /// My SoCal'd Life

Be Up & Doing's thoughts on Spending Money

Something I might need to read daily while job hunting /// A Love Note for the Weary

Speaking of Job Hunting and resumes /// Common Resume Mistakes

xoxo

and then I went to Nashville

I've spent my days since Nashville trying to figure out how to write about it. I'm still coming up blank. So I'll share some photos, and maybe someday in the near future, I'll be able to write about it, all of it.

Until then, enjoy the scenery.

xoxo

On Repeat - Are You With Me

I have so much to tell you about my trip (I still have about 14 more hours left in the city) when I get back, but until then, please enjoy this song that I have had on repeat while driving around. 

I wanna fly so high that I'll never come down

I wanna love so hard it could rip my heart out

These two lines capture perfectly what this weekend, this conference, and ultimately what I, am about. I have more words on this, but they aren't coming out right and I must sleep so I can squeeze the best out of the last remaining daylight hours before my flight tomorrow.

Until I find what I'm trying to say about this whole weekend...

xoxo

+I don't like the live version as much, but the Vevo version of the music video wouldn't play on the blog. The song is still awesome, and he's still cute. So, enjoy none the less. 

Nashville Wish List

via

It is almost here! Just one more full day (a little less than 24 hours) and I will be on a plane to a city I've wanted to visit for so many years! So many! I'm quite excited. I've compiled a list of places I want to see. I'm not sure I'll get to all of them, but hopefully I'll get to most!

Downtown 

(or what I consider Downtown)

The Bang Candy Company

The Ryman Auditorium

Shelby Street Pedestrian Bridge

Nashville Public Library

Robert's Western World

Belmont

Bongo Java (for Blogger Breakfast)

Local Honey

Belmont University

Imogene + Willie

Bookman/Bookwoman

East Nashville

Marche Artisan Foods (brunch)

Wonders on Woodland

Sky Blue Cafe

The Pharmacy

Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams

Old Made Good

Others:
Cheekwood Gardens
Station Inn

Bobbi's Dairy Dip

I have taken so many places off this list. There is just too much to fit into five days, two of which were totally accounted for and two others that were part travel days. I have this feeling one trip will not be enough. Going to squeeze everything I can out of the time I have though!

xoxo

Many Places Found on Design Sponge's Nashville City Guide

Lovely Links

via

When you are trying to find justification for enjoyment /// The Power of Meaninglessness

I must make this!!! /// Emma's Favorite Chocolate (cup)Cake

On Manifestation /// Asking for Proof

What does it mean /// Having It All

I have never been so obsessed with a bedroom /// Emma's Bedroom Tour

I'm now a recovering News Hater. And I have The Skimm to thank.

xoxo

Currently

Reading: Oh I think the question is what am I not reading. I started and didn't finish two young adult fiction books. The Magicians and The Book of Lost Things. I don't know if I just wasn't into them or if I am just not in the mood for that kind of fiction right now. So I went back to my second reading of The Night Circus. I am also working slowly through Money: A Love Story and I just picked up Finding Your North Star. It's pretty safe to say I'm a tad obsessed with improving my life and myself. 

Eating: Not as good as I should. Is that a normal response of mine? Shoot. We have this new kale caesar salad at work though, I do think about how delicious it is while I'm eating french fries or a burger. 

Thinking about: Nashville! It's only a week and a day away! I'm thrilled and a little worried (more money than anything else) but ultimately really excited. I've wanted to go to Nashville for years. Thank you self for signing up. Let's make the most out of it. Which reminds me, must plan everything out... and write a wish list of places I want to/have to see while I'm there. It's going to be limited since two of my days are spent in a conference, but I'll do and see what I can!

Also thinking about life, how can I not with all these self improvement books? Thinking about what I use to think would make me feel better and how each day is definitely worth appreciating and working on mind adjustments and being more lenient on myself but also keeping up a positive mindset. Some days are easier than others, sometimes I fall a little and cry, but I'm doing a lot better than I was 6 months ago. By leaps and bounds. 

Listening to: Country. All the time. Maybe I will share a playlist here soon. 

Enjoying: My boyfriend. Yup, I have a man. He's pretty awesome. 

Also, I'm learning how to edit pictures in photoshop and I'm super stoked on that. Yay for learning new skills. So exciting. 

Watching: Nothing. I once in a while watch Friday Night Lights but unless I'm with the bf and his friends I don't watch tv. I have other things to do.

Loving: That Fall is almost here and I have a new list of things I want to do. 

The posts I have written recently. I just looked back through at the last couple of weeks and gave myself a mental high five. 

xoxo

As always I get this from Sometimes Sweet