Things To Think About

art by Valentina Ramos

While I would normally leave these links for my Friday, Happily Wasted posts, I just couldn't help but find three posts that spoke to things I've been thinking about lately.

First I happened upon Life as an Artistpreneur's Coffee Cup Chats and, as usual, smiled. This week's CCC was about sticking in your old cages even when you've clearly outgrown your restraints. It's about fear and how we learn to stay where we are, even when we have the means to be somewhere else. It's also about elephants, and elephants have a special place in my heart.
Click here to read the post and then come back...
I'm still here.
Okay, so now that you've read it you know what I mean when I talk about baby elephants vs grown ones. That I still feel very much like a baby elephant, held down by previous constraints that I don't now and never have fully understood. At least the elephants can see the thing that's holding them in place. But even if I could see it clearly, would I still be like the grown elephant thinking this tiny, insignificant stake in the ground and rope around my ankle could really keep me?
I have let things keep me from growing and moving on in the past. I switched locations but the same, invisible restraints have kept me in my patterns, my ruts, until I'm too deep to see out.
So where do I go from here, what am I testing, what am I pulling out of the ground to set myself free?
I'm no stranger to introspection and I can say that this tendency, of misjudging what's in front of you, is affecting many if not all aspects of my life.
I worry about my previous judgement with boys and wonder if I'll ever be able to find a man... I worry that I will not be good enough or smart enough to figure out how to take care of myself, even at 26. I worry that my writing is shoddy or less than other people's. I worry that while I have a passion for reading and literature that I might not have all the little pieces of knowledge necessary to be a decent teacher.
I could go on longer, but I think you get the point. I sure do.

Which leads me to the second post that I found thought provoking...
The second article has a similar animal to human comparison aspect to it... This time it was about a goat that thought and acted like it was a dog. First off, can I just say my heart melted (it oh so very cold usually ;) ) reading the story. I mean, a goat that makes a lot of noise at strangers, or chases smaller animals or runs in a pack of dogs... HOW CUTE?!
Okay, moving on to the more relevant part... the family of said goat had wanted a goat, not an extra dog. But when they created a separate area for the goat and kept him caged he became despondent and didn't eat. I'm happy to say the family gave the goat to a different family who wanted a goat/dog.
So what does this have to do with humans?
Well, how many times have you found yourself saying something that wasn't quite true because you felt like it was something you SHOULD say. As an example, I often find myself saying I love something when I just like it. For instance, many of my friends love zombies... like a good handful are obsessed about the possibility of a zombie apocalypse and can argue the methods of surviving with great detail.
In casual conversation with people who aren't this handful, when zombies are brought up I hear myself saying, "oh my goodness, I LOVE zombies." Here's the truth, I have read a few zombie stories, I watch The Walking Dead and I'll watch any other zombie movies if in a group of people. I'll even admit they can be scary or not so scary and argue some ways of surviving. I'll admit that if I were to be in that kind of world I might just take a long nap and offer myself as zombie food after a while because I don't see how I can find survival on few hours of sleep for years any kind of real living.
But do I LOVE zombies? Do I love them to the extent that real zombie lovers do? Probably not. I don't spend extra time looking things up about the possibilities or really arguing over methods. If the conversation is there I'll take it, but I'm not going to start it. And I'm not going to put zombies in my lists of interests any time soon.
Relevance Corey? What I'm saying is that unlike this goat, sometimes I try to fit in somewhere I just don't feel quite right, and it's habit more than anything else. Truth be told, I'd choose Pretty Little Liars or reading over most zombie things if I'm doing something on my own...
Truth be told I would love to work from home instead of working at an office or in a store. But sometimes we act like things we don't feel like we are.

Does that make any sense at all? I guess my thoughts aren't as organized with this one. But it sparked my interest.

Okay, I think I've got it... you are what you think you are. So if I think I'm horrible at something, say, like above where I think I'm incapable of finding a good partner, then I will be. Or if I think I'm a decent writing, then maybe I will be. Maybe my focus above was all wrong, maybe it doesn't matter if I say I love zombies when I only really like them, I don't have to know every detail of the different kinds of zombies... I just have to believe I like them.
Again, not the best example, but it's something to think about.

Basically, I am going to keep working on believing I am what I want to be, and working on gaining the skills or knowledge to make it true.

Which awesomely enough leads me to the third post...
Elise Blaha, one of my favorite bloggers, the two above are also in my top ten... wrote about making it work even if you aren't an expert. I think this post (and can I say I read these in this order... sometimes things just line up right) ties it all together.
When you think you are tied to one spot, or you think you aren't an expert, you may stay rooted in one place, unable to move anywhere besides the circle your post and rope allow you. But if you think about your strengths, in Elise's case, getting things done, and move forward anyway, you have a chance of reaching a goal you never thought you could have.
If I only think of what I'm lacking then I might not move forward and try anyway.
Sometimes, (read: many times) those things we think are important that we lack end up being small issues even though we (I) had made them these colossal roadblocks. Maybe we have to put the car in park for a second, get out of the car and move the light fence someone put up, but they aren't brick walls...
And then, when they are, it's time to try something different, or grow more and drive again. Sometimes we don't know what it is that we do that will break down that wall.
We have to have a first time doing things, we have to learn and sometimes we have to ask for help.
But most of the time we really just need to start.

Is this making sense?

Moral?

Be an elephant, but purposefully forget how those times you were held back before. Try again and see if your added bulk (knowledge, expertise, experiences) makes a difference... and while you're doing that, think that it will make a difference. Pretty soon what was a stake in the ground and thick rope on your ankle will be as insignificant as a twig and string.

xoxo