Between the Lines: Insecure At Last

I figured this would be a great post for International Women's Day.

Oh Eve Ensler, you've spoken straight to my heart again. I read iffy reviews on this book and your others in the middle of reading this one and it lead me to doubt my current enjoyment... but I did enjoy this book, even if it made me sad. I enjoyed it because of the truths I found.

Security is an idea that we can't make 100% whole. No matter how many barriers, roofs, bullet proof vests or anything else we have, there's still room for glitch or catastrophe. However, as scary and dark as it may seem, there's room for growth in the unknown. (something I MUST learn this year and forever after)

This book had many great parts to it, I will save myself from just typing a fourth of the book here and just share one quotation:

Language has the capacity to transform our cells, rearrange our learned patterns of behavior, and redirect our thinking. I believe in naming what's right in front of us because that is often what is most invisible. By saying "vagina" often enough and loud enough in places where it's not suppose to be said, we made the saying of it both political and mystical...

As a student of communication and a lover of books and reading I can't agree with the first sentence more. I mean, I can't agree with the whole piece more, but I'm taking it bit by bit here!

Language is so important and can be interpreted so many ways. Many of us don't learn how our expressions and body language are hurting others, we figure since we've been told to toughen up, so should everyone else (and I am guilty of this.)
The way we talk about things, the words we are and aren't "allowed" to say change the paradigm (gosh I hate that word but it's relevant here) we live in as a collective society. Some choose not to live by the mostly unspoken rules but most stay within the lines. Until someone speaks boldly enough and others start to listen, we are left with dark, quiet, dangerous areas.
Sometimes those bold speakers do better, they bring awareness to causes that before were silenced. Other times we just find ourselves less shocked when we hear curse words out of kids.

In this case I am all for the Vagina Monologues and changing the way a women's most controversial part is talked about. Especially by other women.

I use to be one of those women that claimed to be better at making friends with guys than girls. I said I just didn't understand girls and guys were easier to hang out with. I figured most girls were crazy and manipulative. Here's the deal, sometimes that's true. Other times, not so much. As the years have passed I've started to realize why those guys were sticking around and "being my friend." This isn't a universal rule, I still have some male friends that are actually friends, but for the most part many just wanted access to my naked body.
As these realizations started coming one after the other (I was a late bloomer) I made some incredible friends that were women. Also I had been realizing that the girls I use to hate, the girlfriends of the guys I had liked) were usually pretty cool and then I would forget about the dude and keep the friendship.
I don't think I was ever meant to be a woman hater. I fell from that role and I'm not looking back. Even when I'm SO into a guy and he gets a girlfriend I maybe catch myself saying one bad thing and then trying to find her good qualities. If the guy I liked was even worth anything then the girl is usually rad.

I don't know exactly where I am going with this, but this thought dump has no better place or day than today.

What are your thoughts on other women? Did you have a hard time keeping chick friends in middle and high school? Do you still find yourself hating on other women you don't know?

I think it's heavily conditioned into many groups to women hate with freedom and ferocity that is seen as normal and logical. I still catch myself getting snarky about some random chick I see in a store who I think is doing something wrong. How self important of me, to make that judgement. Let her wear leggings as pants with white underwear showing through... or maybe, discreetly tell her, and if she's rude about it shrug and walk away. But maybe she didn't realize, we've all had those moments where we have a booger in our nose, food in our teeth, toilet paper on our shoe, our dress tucked into our underwear, or a see through dress (usually summer ones from forever 21 that look great indoors and then you step in the sun and HEYYYYY) and while it may be incredibly embarrassing to be told, wouldn't it be better than walking around the rest of the day like that and then realizing it when you get home?

Again, tangent. But main points:
Happy International Women's Day
Let's stop women hate!
Eve Ensler does and says some pretty rad stuff.

xoxo