and then we said goodbye

Today my dad had to put our cat down. I wondered yesterday while petting her on the stairs if it was the last time I was going to see her. I wondered and didn't want it to be true, but sometimes you just know. 

It started a couple months ago, this already strange cat was acting just a little more strange. I worried when they started mentioning new quirks but I wondered (hoped, prayed) if maybe it was just something new developing with age.

Friday things started getting worse. She acted like she broke her foot. Then she wouldn't leave a specific step on the stairs. She would purr like normal when pet but her eyes were far away.

Yesterday she moved even less and didn't take food or water. I hoped and hoped it was something fixable but we all kind of knew.

This afternoon, while already feeling that crawling back into bed was the best bet for me and humanity,  I was informed that she was put down. Blood clots were to blame and there was nothing that could have been done.

I'm going to miss her little meow, the way she use to come running if I called her (and she wanted to be pet or fed), the way she loved burrowing in my hair. I'm going to miss her quirks and how odd she was. I'm going to miss her purr and her insanely soft fur. I'm even going to miss the way that people almost didn't believe she existed because she would never come around for strangers.

I'm going to miss that crazy little ball of soft purring fur so much... I'm going to miss her, but I'm glad she's not in pain anymore. 

xoxo