Sometimes I Spit Out My Gum In Public: My Classless Response to Lisa Khoury

Some of my favorite tattooed and completely classy ladies: Emma, Danielle, Elsie and Kyla Roma

Four totally classy, tattooed, intelligent, successful women. 

please read this article first and then if you would like read Mrs Danielle's response at Sometimes Sweet.

Dearest Lisa,

I'm going to try and understand what you REALLY meant by this article for a second. The real meaning and feelings you have about women and society and how they just became a jumbled mess and misinterpreted after you hit publish.

Best case scenario from your article:

You think women are beautiful. There are few people who would disagree with you there, some might say that not all women are beautiful but I figure that what you meant was the lines and curves we are made up of as women are soft and supple, they are capable of so much, while mens are more straight and angled, which, while artistically appealing, aren't as soft and beautiful as women's. 

I get you there.

Now I'm going to take a deep breath or five... ten? twenty? Okay, I'm in a better place to tackle what you hopefully just worded wrong.

I figure maybe you've seen some tattoos that you don't think are that pretty. You mention angel wings and I wonder if you are talking about the spur of the moment, chinese symbol, butterfly or other tattoos. The ones that someone walked into a tattoo shop, pointed at the wall and said, "that one."

While your judgements are still read harsh on these women I see what you are saying about them being permanent. Yes, we should probably take some more time when we are 18 to think about what we are permanently (well, mostly permanently they are getting so good at removal these days) putting on to our bodies. 

As a tattooed women I can't point too many fingers to those who get tattoos, the only finger I can point is to those who don't research. Sure, you want a tattoo on a whim one day, be my guest, I did that twice and I love them so much still. Of course mine were words I chose with meaning that I'd been thinking about, but I didn't make an appointment and I didn't know at the beginning of the day that I was going to go into a shop later. Spur of the moment can work. 

My concern is when there is no thought put into the artist, the price or the location. Yes, get a tattoo, no don't bargain shop. Don't hear that someone's apprentice is giving away free tattoos from a friend of a friend and automatically think it's a good idea. Sometimes it will be and sometimes it really, really won't. 

Just about any tattooed PERSON (not just women) will tell you that bargain shopping on tattoos is basically THE WORST IDEA EVER. But that's a rant for another time. Let's get back to you Lisa.

I started to mention above the idea of the tattooed person instead of the tattooed lady. Why is it so classless for a woman to have a tattoo and not a man. Maybe that's an article for another day? Were you going to write a continuation on how men are also lacking class with a tattoo or twelve? I hope this isn't just about keeping women's bodies pristine because if so then maybe we should just cover our ankles and shoulders again.

Oh wait, no, you say dressing up and shopping are okay. That flamboyant colors (my words not yours) are okay. Even if they draw attention, in fact, please do this to draw attention. Make those boys drool... 

Frankly by this point I'm more than confused and I must go back to my original frustrations. It may be a flaw in my abilities, but I'm having a hard time continuing to follow your reasoning... so here's the rest of my response to you, dear Lisa:

As you may know by now, I have tattoos. I have tattoos, I am going to get more tattoos and eventually my left arm and possibly my right leg will be covered. You know what else? I still consider myself to be classy at least 85% of the time. I mean, as mentioned in the title, I have spit out my gum in public, and forgotten to put my napkin on my lap at dinner, sometimes my elbows on are the table too... but shoot, we can't all be perfect right? 


What class means to me: knowing when to speak your mind, knowing how to speak your mind, knowing when to let something go, knowing that throwing a punch in a bar probably isn't the right thing to do, knowing that getting wasted and peeing outside while leaning on a car isn't going to feel like such a great idea in the morning... etc. It's about holding your head high no matter what your body shape, gpa, income level, or family background is. 

You say that you don't learn anything about yourself from getting a tattoo, that there's no meaning behind it, that you may as well sign up for a yoga class... clearly you've never been there. If you haven't been in the chair, felt the needles, stuck through it for hours because you know it's going to be beautiful and that when you look at it each day or catch it out of the corner of your eye you're going to smile because it reminds you of something beautiful or it reminds you to keep your head up or it reminds you of someone you use to know. Sitting in that chair or laying on the table you start to realize what you can handle. No, it's not child birth, but it's definitely annoying at times and despite what some people say it hurts. I'm not talking about tears rolling down the face hurts, just uncomfortable hurts, like a grimace here and there. You learn how to zone out and take yourself away from what's happening to you. Yoga could probably help with that, at least meditation could. 

Why am I looked down upon for putting ink into my skin and having a pretty piece of art (not angel wings by the way but I do have a friend who has wings that span from her shoulders to underneath her butt and the work is phenomenal) when women go in for plastic surgery every day coming out like 

carbon copies of one another and are defended because it makes them feel better about themselves? I know your piece doesn't say anything about plastic surgery but when you support shopping, nail painting and other such activities so much it's hard to believe you would be against superficial surgery. 

Look, if you're really doing it for you, then do it up. If you want size H boobs and a back scoop and you have the money, go for it. If you want your arms covered in colors, do it. I mean, you're comparing a tattoo to a bumper sticker... have you only seen bad tattoos? Generic, from the wall hearts, butterflies and such? Have you seen what these artists can do with a vibrating needle? The precision, the detail... they are ARTISTS. I'm sorry, I rather have art ON my body then silicone IN it. I rather have the nose I was born with, the small boobs I was "blessed" with and have a sleeve full of tattoos that all mean something to me. That document where I've been and where I hope to go. Or that just look really good. 

Clothes go in and out of style, they don't portray who I really am, you can't look at my boots and ask me what that means in relation to my life. My nails... I mean really? Getting your nails done ever teach you anything about yourself? Any new self realizations after huffing all of those nail particles? Again, not against women getting their nails done or getting new clothes or dressing up. You want to dress up? Do it. You want to wear leggings as pants, make sure it's flattering and that they are thick enough so we can't see where your thong ends and your ass begins. You want to wear denim skirts and uggs, sure, I mean, it makes the thighs look nice I guess. Not my style because my legs get cold but I have been known to wear boots with tights and a skirt in winter. I also have a pea coat to put on. 

And why is this geared to only women. If you hate tattoos, fine. Say it's classless on a guy or a girl. Say that putting ink in the skin is an abomination against the beauty of the human body, not just a women's. If you're argument is solely for women's bodies then you are reducing them to just that. Clearly, as a writer I figure you believe yourself to be pretty intelligent and more than just a hole to stick something in right? I mean, let's hope most if not all women think a little higher than that about themselves... so why are we making the act of keeping the body pristine so important? Would you demand that a scar be removed if you were in a bike accident? Even if it wasn't on your face? Would removing that scar be going against what you've been given? Would keeping the scar go against keeping the beautiful canvas clean?

I suggest further research into the subject you are writing about before putting something up such as this. I don't care if you never want a tattoo or if you regret the tramp stamp you got years ago. That's fine. And yes, there are many people and even many women that end up regretting some of the tattoos they get. Know that's not all of us. Some of us take the time to think it through, some of us research the artist and sit with the drawing we want for a bit. Some of us don't and still love the tattoo 10+ years later. The body is merely a vessel as far as I'm concerned. It's my space to remind myself that things can be beautiful and you don't have to fit in to the crowd to get along. It's taking what is important and putting it on the outside. I feel like the outside is starting to mirror the inside a little more with every tattoo I get. 

If any of all of the above is classless then shoot, give me that bumper sticker (and a Ferrari).

With as much sincerity as my frustrated heart can managed,

C