Despite wanting to keep each of the worksheets separate, life came in again and this week was mostly about hanging out with friends after work and getting acquainted with my new place. Luckily these two worksheets go hand in hand... so here we go a couple days late but still full of truth and heart:
Purging the Past is about getting rid of those unresolved feelings, the ones that pop up during your thoughts of the current and the future. The ones that make you doubt. Purge it, acknowledge it, ruminate for a second or two and then it's time for Glory Boarding... looking to the same past, but the good parts, the things I did well, doesn't matter if I was 5 or 25 when it happened, acknowledge it, gain strength from it and let's go!
You can't face forward until you've processed your past.
Think about your three favorite screwups.
Not putting myself out there enough to screw up majorly...
Letting doubt control my decisions.
Letting doubt control my decisions.
What did you learn?
I'm learning that there's something to be said for failing. I'm looking back and wondering what I have to show, even if I screwed up I would have a lot of work to show before the screw up happened. I've had small setbacks, but I've never put myself out there enough to have room to fall that far.
Can you see a pattern from the lessons you learned?
A lack of push once things get rough, a shut down in the mind. I stopped wanting my first passion after I turned it into a failure in my head. Looking at it now, I'm not sure it was, more bad timing and eventually a burn out of the passion. It happens.
How did what you learned change the way you approach things?
It's time to put a little (lot) more heart in it, a little more of me. Time to allow passion and hope to flow again, not to keep it bottled and safe so that I don't get hurt. Turns out disappointment still comes up even with a protected heart.
Now it's time to Glory Board...
Create a resume of wonder, what have you done well in your life. Go back as far as you want... use the prompts, etc.
inspired:
launched: this blog and a couple of others...
earned: money to pay rent, buy clothes, buy food, get tattoos...
graduated: cum laude from Portland State, with honors from SDA
wrote: a short piece about one of my sisters, this blog, wrote some awesome essays over the years
produced:
raised: my standards, my confidence level
wrangled:
traveled: to Argentina with a group of people I didn't know and spoke Spanish to strangers.
motivated: myself to move out
sold:
bought: the art on my arm and foot... there will be more
gave:
made: Four (+) blankets for my friends and their babies.
won:
organized: my friend's garage, my room countless times, local band shows
transformed:
discovered:
- booked a show, all by myself, that brought 300 people to the Epicentre. That show led to the next show with the same band that sold out.
- was a part of a 100% A+ paper where we, as a group, dissected a piece of media... the paper was selected for a conference and published in the anthology
my thoughts: These kinds of exercises are very difficult for me. I have trouble thinking of things I have done well in my life. Everything seems so average to me. Yes I had good grades all through high school and college... but so did a lot of other people. I've moved to Portland twice, one time I had to move out of the comfortable apartment I had with my best friend of the time to an apartment I found on craigslist, before finding that one I spent an afternoon riding the bus everywhere in 30 degree temperatures looking at places that were sketchy. Not only that but I ended up walking a good 15 blocks at the end of the day, in that cold, because the guy at the bus stop I was at was smoking in the little shelter and I just didn't want to wait for the bus. I mean, it's not like we don't all have hard-ish times to get through, but remembering those kinds of days makes me realize I have a little more fight in me, a little more wherewithal than I give myself credit for. Sometimes you just do it because there really is no other option, even if it is way colder than you have ever experience before and even if there's a creepy man at the bus stop smoking where he isn't suppose to.
Even if.
The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte
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