The Fire Starter Sessions - The Burning Questions

(not to be mistaken for questions about a burning feeling in your lower region... see a doctor)

Week 3, Part 2: Eleven questions to be answered with honesty... some were easy for me, and others not so much. 

Freedom starts when you can identify the aggravation you've been accommodating for so long.

When someone at a party asks you what you do, what do you say? And how do you feel when you say it.

I work at a movie theater and two photo studios. I read a lot and I like to take pictures with a variety of different kinds of camera. Oh yes, and I blog. Aaaand now since fall is kind of here, I make blankets.

I feel embarrassed about the low wage jobs that don't have a goal to connect with other than making some money. I don't like that I work for $8 an hour at a place that is below my experience and expertise. I feel bad writing that because I think it makes me seem snobby. Or maybe that's when people remind me that some with Master's degrees are working these kinds of jobs as well. 

No matter if that is true or not I hold myself to a higher standard despite the state of the economy. So, I feel bad, or dumb or embarrassed.

What do people thank you for most often? What do they come to you for, or say about you, most frequently? (+ or -)

On a good day they ask for advice or a listening ear. They ask for ideas of how to get through a tangle with their significant other or good friend. They ask for questions on what's next... either or... positive and negatives. 

People ask me or come to me with organization needs. 

When they talk about me the positive is that I'm funny, fun, blunt, hard working...

Other times I'm bitchy, have attitude problems, blunt, selfish

When do you feel powerful, passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited or inspired?

taking pictures

dancing

when traveling

when writing thoughtful pieces

when I help someone learn something new

while looking at beautiful photos

inspired when reading certain books
organizing things

What do you think your form of genius is? What are you amazing at? 

I don't feel like I am amazing at anything, no genius, just common knowledge. That being said, I am on a hunt for passions and genius. Not a hunt with guns and knives, there will be no trapping... more like a wandering adventure... taking time to stop and appreciate. Let things sink in.

Who do you think is really cool, elegant or powerful?

Lauren Conrad (so shoot me)
Emma Stone
Taylor Swift

Danielle of Sometimes Sweet
Becka of Life as an Artistpreneur
Elise of Enjoy It
And then my friends. Each has their own quality that I find incredible and inspiring and look up to.

What's chronic, repetitive, or inflamed in your inner and outer life?

- wanting someone to tell me what to do next and how to do it, but then finding reasons not to do just what they say

- hiding from rejection; guys and jobs

- perfectionism in anything and everything

- self doubt and self deprecation
- lack of money for bills and projects
- depression, it's a cycle I go through and I think it's situational, but I also think it is caused by my interpretation of things

What's always in the back of your mind?

- framing the image I'm seeing in a camera
- doubt, certainty that I'm not good enough

- lack

What would you like to stop doing?

- second guessing

- self doubt and loathing

- biting my nails

- spending more than I make

- waiting for the "right" time

- whining

- making excuses

How much money would you like to be making?

Eventually $70,000 per year. 

Right now, in the next year I would like to be making $35k - $40k. 

How would you like to be seen, recognized, acknowledged, awarded, praised?

I want to be appreciated. I don't need something big like a tv segment or anything but I would like to be known at least by a group of people, and the work I create appreciated. I don't need red carpet fame, just to be valued.

By a significant other: with cuddles and forehead kisses and small (or large) out of the blue surprises. I want to be in a balanced partnership where wants, needs, dreams and aspirations are respected and applauded. Also, great sex. I mean, duh, girl's got needs.

So... what would you like to do with your life and career? (Money is no object... dream)

Travel, see places in the states and out of it. Write. Live in an apartment flooded with natural light. Decorated simply and elegantly with little bits and bobbles that show a bit about me. I want a room for a pole or to exercise. I want a work space with a large desk cleared of clutter for a computer with photoshop and such for blogging, photography and other work stuff. Eventually I want a house but that dream isn't quite set in stone. Currently the house of my dreams looks somewhat like the one in The Lucky One... wide open, lots of light, lots of wood, cavernous rooms that are not too large square foot wise but with higher ceilings. I want a porch for this house. I want a balcony for the apartment, must be able to sit outside. With that being said I want the upstairs apartment if it's only two levels, maybe higher than that if there are more stories. I want to see Barcelona, Madrid, parts of Greece, Paris and England with Chelsea. I want to take Chelsea to Portland and show her the fun times. I want to work in an inspiring and artistic job with people that become lifelong friends. 

I will have a kitten that will grow into a small cat. I'm not sure if I'm still going to name her Miss Moo but she will be my buddy. I won't go back to living with family or relying on them monetarily. I am my own person with potential and abilities and education that rivals just about anyone else. All that's missing is confidence. 

I would take classes in Argentina for photography and move there for 6 months to more fully explore what I had a chance to see a few years ago. I would try out Nashville and the Carolinas. 

I would have an awesome wardrobe that wasn't overflowing but had pieces for just about any occasion. My walls of my apartment or house will have beautiful art and small amounts of decoration. My bed will be comfortable, covered in blankets (mostly during the winter) and look soft, fluffy and white. I will be in a committed relationship and eventually in a long term committed relationship (not necessarily the same just like there is a time for a well lit apartment in my life and a time for a house) with a gorgeous individual who adores me just as much as I adore them. One day there will be a child. One day.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte