The Fire Starter Sessions - Future Gratitude

It's not the imbalances of life that will get you down - it's doing meaningless things that aren't taking you were you want to go.

While I've come to the last worksheet in this book I highly doubt my work with it is over. There's so much to glean from it, so much to take in and answers change with each thing that happens in life. I've said it once, I've said it twice, I've probably said it even more than that... I am so glad I bought this book. Going through it has done wonders.

Next month, next year or five to twenty years down the road, what and who will you be valuing? Why will you be filled with appreciation? Be practical or dream a bit.

Next month, next year, an hour from now... I will be appreciating my friends and family. The ones I choose and the ones I'm born with. I will appreciate my health and my strength, mentally and physically.
I'll be thankful for the growth that has come from living and trying and pushing my limits. I'll appreciate the growth in my hobbies of choice, like photography and blogging... I'll continue appreciating the people that read this blog, that listen to me talk even if I talk too much.
I will value the lessons learned from my parents, from my friends and even those I learned from once trusting people that weren't worth it.
I hope to be valuing a special someone sooner than later but with no options in sight I'm not rushing anything. Just hoping the good vibes I am working to put out come back my way.
Right now, and in the next few hours and weeks I am and will be appreciating my little space heater and my blankets.
I'm never going to stop appreciating the clouds and how they are painted with the sunset on perfect nights. I will never stop appreciating the smell of books, the sound of rain or a good cuddle.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Sizing Up Simpatico

It takes a village.

A pithy summation of your life philosophy. Finish these thoughts first:

I think that most people are: looking for answers... to crossword puzzles, to their significant others inability to put the toilet seat down, to why we are here, to why we have to lose those we love... to why massacres happen or wars go on for a decade. I think we're all looking for different answers.

I believe that life is: full of surprises, and willing to work for you if an effort is made.

I hold the opinion that:

I'm the kind of person who: can go to a movie or dinner alone. I love my friends, I love going out with friends, but sometimes they aren't on the same schedule and sometimes I just can't find someone interested enough... and I'm not going to wait forever... so I go. I also did the drive up to Portland and then back down to San Diego by myself. It was very peaceful.

I relate to people who are: inspired and in awe of the simple things that are beautiful... I relate to people who are fascinated by human sexuality. I relate to people who make things and travel places... even though I haven't done that much of either. I relate to people who are willing to be related to... who have a more even temperament than I do. :)

I love people who: are friendly to waiters and waitresses, who read and fully admit to what other people would call guilty pleasures... who work their butts off but are humble and don't hold anything over anyone's head.

People who think that __________________ make me _____________________

My evil twin would say:

I have faith that: if I make an effort, like 110% good things will happen. I know that some possible bad things might happen too, but that's life, and I have faith that sometimes there will be good days, and sometimes there will be days to just get through.

I see my work as a means to: travel, tattoos, books, crafts, meet people, buy food, support my picture taking habit...

What I value most in myself is: my willingness to always be improving upon what and who I am.

What I value most in other people is:

I cherish working with people who: are motivated, creative and funny.

I found this to be quite challenging. I think about myself and how to improve and many other things but these questions throw me off a lot. I answered the ones that didn't take me five minutes to think about. I didn't answer all of them but maybe next year I'll take another look.

My life philosophy? Do things, see places, meet people, learn, learn, learn. See the beauty in the simple... be thankful for what you have and shy away from thinking you have not. Love your friends, your family, those you wish to be close to. Simplify, weed out the toxic that may try to hang around. Don't take things personally but also take responsibility. Make time for that which is important.
Be who you want to be.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions -Getting Emotional About Money

I tend to think of money in the same way I regard time: It's a form of energy. It comes and goes according to my intentions. 

Step 1
How do you feel:
About your debt?
Frustrated but hopeful. I don't think I will stop being frustrated until I get it all paid off, but feeling hopeful is new and I like it.

About your income?
I want it to be higher. I am not mad about my income now, I am able to pay rent and buy food and dine out more than is heathy and I can buy books and pay down my credit card, so I'm not crying poor. But I would like a bigger buffer. Some of that will be working towards eating at home more often and some of that will be figuring out how to make more money.

About your savings and assets?
Need more definitely.

About anyone who owes you money?
Nobody owes me money. I am fine.

When you pay for experiences and outings?
Depends on the experience or outing. Sometimes I feel guilty afterwards, sometimes I feel awesome and know I'll figure out how to make ends meet.

When you go grocery shopping?
Excited about the food and hungry but then frustrated when I feel like there's nothing to eat two days later.

When you shop for clothes?
I don't shop for clothes often. I feel like I shouldn't be spending that amount of money at one time even though I'm shopping at H&M or Forever21. I need to work on taking the money I would be spending on dining out and putting it towards some good pieces for my closet.

When you shop for art, decor, or collectibles?
I rarely do this but when I do I make myself think about it. I might even walk around Target with something in my hand and then put it back before I leave because I just don't need the extra expense. But if I really want it I end up feeling happy when I look at it displayed in my room.

Step 2
Identify what a pure positivity with money would feel like.
Not being scared to look at my bank accounts. It would feel comfortable and stable and full of hope and excitement and adventure. There would be wiggle room in case of emergency or spur of the moment trips.
The ability to buy a gift for a friend or take them out to a movie/for food/whatever if the inspiration struck.
Pure positivity with money will feel stable and calm, a foundation that I can feel confident in when exploring new things and places.


There is a part 3... I chose not to do it here.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Freely Associating with Money

When you establish your purpose for money, you have a rudder to help guide your purchases, investments, donations, savings - all the things that you do with money. You also motivate yourself to go get what you want the most. 

Quick habit analysis:
What do you love spending money on?
Experiences, travel, really good food, tattoos, books that I will keep and mark up and learn from over and over, pictures, things to make new crafts out of, gifts for others

What do you wildly resent paying for?
gas, anything that only women HAVE to buy because they have a uterus (bc, tamps, etc)

What do you consider luxurious?
I'm a relatively simple girl, anything piece of clothing/accessory etc that goes over $150 gets a little costly (and possibly luxurious  if it's made well) to me. I like the look of really expensive things sometimes but I know there are other things I want more, like another lens for my camera instead of really expensive jeans.
I consider luxurious to be really fluffy pillows in soft sheets with a puffy down comforter. I consider luxurious to be clean, well made, sturdy and with little stress.
Luxurious is a massage in a dim lit room (by a professional). It's something that doesn't happen all the time, and that's fine, because it's a break in the norm.
But the norm is still great.

When, where, and how are you cheap?
Food in a round about way. I spend the most on food but on the day to day I think cheap when I want to buy it. I rarely go somewhere and pay more than $15 plus tip for a meal. And when I spend that I'm splurging... like, a lot.
I'm also cheap when it comes to experiences and adventures. I'm cheap in the short term but it ends up costing me experiences (and sometimes more money) in the long run. I'm working on it currently.

When, where, and how are you generous?
I'm sporadically generous. Something I want to work on more. I like being able to buy people gifts or cover their meal when they least expect it. I want to have more money set aside next christmas for gifts, even though I like the route I am taking this year. Next year I just want to add some oomph.  


What is your most common money fantasy? If that didn't happen what's the next best money fantasy? The next best after that? If those didn't happen what would be a great way to have money come into your life? Brainstorm many ways.

My most common money fantasy is making enough to put a serious dent in my credit card each month until it's all paid off, then putting what I use to put toward the credit card to my car and then to paying off old debts that no one's holding over my head but I would love to repay in some way. Then it would be time to save for travel. During this time I would/will also be getting a nice savings going.
While winning the lottery or falling into a grand amount of money would be fun, I know that's not what is going to happen. I answered those emails and all I got were viruses...

So really my money fantasy has come down to finding a passion that can be my source of income. And while I'm doing that also learning and perfecting how to live below my means... even if my means are high. My dream life does not have a huge price tag, my dream car is one I had and lost... maybe with a few small additions to it. Or maybe a slightly bigger vehicle for the future, when a family comes together. I'm not looking to own a huge house, or have a really expensive wardrobe... but these wants aren't just so that I can fit in what I think I can make, I want to make more than these things will cost, so I can be happy with what I have, put away for the future and enjoy the world.

It's time to do some more exploring. Find the fire that I've spent years ignoring, push past my thoughts of "I couldn't..." and find out how I can.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions: A Perfect Twelve

We fill up our lives. That's what humans do. The question is what are you filing it with?

The whole point of this exercise is to actually create those ideal twelve hours - or as close to it, even if it's just 15 minutes, as frequently as possible until that idealism is the fabric of your everyday reality and lifestyle.

Imagine your perfect 12 hour day at home within the confines of your current reality. Dream about the job, the type of apartment, etc, but don't get crazy with traveling to have lunch in Portland and dinner in Las Vegas.

My perfect 12 hours would start with a semi early morning, but feeling fully rested. I would don some yoga pants, a shirt and possibly a sweatshirt if necessary and get myself outside for a walk/jog. Then I would come back home and have breakfast. After a shower off and a get ready it would be work time... doing what, I'm not sure yet, but I figure it would be me and the computer. Writing? Reading for research? After some work it would lunch and then adventure or craft time. Maybe work on a quilt, or go somewhere and take pictures, on a great day go to Sea World or something. Then come home, snack, a dance class, dinner, shower off yet again (sheesh... better planning in my perfect day might have to happen) a bit more work and then reading for fun and bedtime.
If we were talking about puuuuurfect here there would be a cat, maybe a dog involved AND a man friend.

Imagine your perfect day outside of those confines. 12 hours, dream big.

I would be taking photography classes in Argentina. I would be writing and taking pictures and visiting that beautiful country. I don't know if there needs to be more explanation than that.

EDIT: Okay, there is more... I would be drinking coffee (decaf, let's not go crazy) in little shops and meeting people and working on my fluency in Spanish. I would be going on weekend trips to other parts of the country that I miss. I would be staying in Buenos Aires and learning the tango. I mean, this obviously wouldn't all be in one day. But oh man, how magical it all seems.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions: The All-About-You Interview

I think the title of the worksheet just about says it all, and what it doesn't say the questions do. This started off as a difficult exercise, but as the weeks went on and I started being nicer to myself it became easier, and more inspiring, and then downright exciting. 

You will always be too much of something for someone.

1. What do you know to be true, unquestionably beyond doubt, certain with every cell of your being, completely, passionately, righteously certain?
That my parents and family love me. That my friends like me and I'm starting to understand why. I believe in not taking peoples' choices away from them... I believe in safe sex, smart decision making and having fun. I believe that there is beauty in the tasks and chores that people call the everyday. I believe in the ocean and in this system we call nature. I believe in simple beauty. I believe in love though I want to claim realism so that I don't get hurt when it doesn't happen as frequently as I want it to. I believe in no regrets but also taking time to think things through from time to time. I believe in enjoying this one life and not getting caught in a job or a relationship or a cycle that isn't healthy or fruitful. I believe in so many things.

2. What was the dumbest thing you used to believe in? What changed your mind?
That I was ugly and dumb. I can't prove that I am or am not either. There are people that would agree or disagree either way. Good grades could prove to some I am smart, but other life decisions could have people thinking I wasn't so smart.
It's all a matter of perception and choice. Some of the seemingly smartest people make very dumb decisions and never enjoy life. Some of the most beautiful people (named in our society) aren't content and don't believe what the masses are saying.
There are still days I feel incredibly dumb and there are days where I look in the mirror and wonder how I could ever have thought myself to be ugly. But it's not permanent, these feelings and assumptions. It's not important if I am smart or dumb, what's important to me is I live this life and don't let it pass me by like I have before, that I appreciate and work toward new things and learn... and if I'm really lucky...find someone who will love me as I love them... what else? It's important that I find a way to support myself and follow my passions. That doesn't necessarily take smarts, it takes courage and drive.

3. What do you know the most about?
Probably myself. I don't feel like I know more than a common amount about anything else.

4. Why do you do what you do?
Why do I read? Because I like stories, I like learning about people and different kinds of situations and relationships. I like happy endings. I do read stories that don't have happy endings, but sometimes I do need them.
I write this blog because it feels right, because I like creating these posts, I like putting pictures up... is that self important? Vain? I really don't know, I struggle with that thought a lot. But then I also really enjoy others blogs and don't think them vain at all. Documenting our lives, telling stories, we've been doing it as a species for years, clearly not this down to the moment, but cave drawings, home videos. They are a fantastic thing, especially for people like me who likes to find beauty in the everyday.

5. One word: breakthrough. What comes to mind?
Breaking through a brick wall. A moment of brilliant inspiration. I use to think I needed an epiphany, just one and I would work through everything and be on the track to brilliance but it kept not happening. I would read books and like what they said and told myself to remember these things when life felt hard but something would happen and I would need another book.
Recently I found this book (this exact one) and I decided that it would just have to stick, I would read it over and over again. And I did buy another one, and it was similar but it made me think about a different aspect of my life, and for some reason things started to stick, but it wasn't at all once... and it still isn't brilliant and I'm not owning at everything but my life is pretty darn decent and I'm appreciating what I have and taking time to figure out what I want. Can a breakthrough be getting through a brick wall with a spoon, tiny bits at a time over years?

6. What has been one of your most memorable experiences in your career?
Daphne Loves Derby. I use to work at an all ages venue. At that venue I booked local shows. One day I went on a hunch and answered a girl that wanted to get a band from out of state to play. I took a chance and it ended up going really well. The capacity of the venue was a little over 500 and we sold around 300. Later the band got an agent for shows and the agent tried to get them to go to a different venue but they insisted they go with mine, because I had booked them before.
I feel a little strange keeping that as my greatest achievement... things went down at the venue and I didn't feel right about it and then there was juggling another job and full credits at school... excuses really, things to distract from the feelings I had there but it's still not something I want to go into, at least not on a blog.
But anyway, regardless of what happened later hearing that they sold that many tickets was such a great moment in my life. I was so amazed.

7. What global policy, credo, practice, or law would you like to decree?
Don't say sorry unless you really mean it.

8. What experience tested your mettle but made you a better person?
I'm not sure I've had one yet. Moving to Portland, moving back from Portland, living back at home at an age I feel is unacceptable.
Learning that the guy I dated for two months had been doing heroin the whole time we were together. It's not like I was around it but it took many, many months, maybe even a year or so for me not to feel absolutely horrible about myself in the whole thing.
Getting hit with a serious bout of anxiety and depression during my last year and a half of college (probably because it was the last year and a half of college) and finding ways to work with it and then finding ways to work through it after, getting on medication and most recently getting off of it... and it's going great. I guess that would test a person's mettle. I'll take it as an example!

9. Finish the sentence: "It's a good day when..."
It's a good day when I've woken up refreshed, had a healthy and light breakfast, had some time to read and write... when I've spent time with friends participating in good conversation, walking around town, taking pictures and enjoying simplicity.
It's a good day when I've done something to feel accomplished, when I've felt wanted or needed. When I've felt usefull.
It's a good day when I've laughed until I've cried, when I've made a new friend that I instantly connect with or I've found a new favorite place.
It's a good day when I wake up and the sun is shining and I have a place to go that I'm excited about, or when I wake up and it's raining and I get to stay in bed a little longer.

10. When was the last time you thought, "Yes! That person has so got it going on!"?
Reading certain blogs, like Life as an Artispreneur. Definitely. She's honest and upfront in her blog and I love it.

11. What question in your life has had the biggest impact on you?
What am I going to do with my life that will support me? That question stops me in my tracks, makes me cry at night, gives me anxiety attacks...
I'm not as scared right now, I've managed to find a way to support myself working three jobs... three part time jobs, I'm not breaking my back here. But there is definitely a "what's next" in the back of my mind... what do I WANT to be next more specifically, because I finally feel like I have control, like I make choices everyday and I'm mostly happy with the outcome of those choices. Like I can do this... I can figure it out. The basics are set, I can do them... so what's next?

12. What are you positively addicted to?
After looking up the definition and criteria for positive addiction I have come to the conclusion that I do not have one. Maybe reading. Reading is the only thing I can think of that I don't badger myself about, can do by myself, usually feel good about, and spend 30 minutes to an hour on a day.
Photography, learning new things, self help blogs and books... meeting new, awesome people. Getting into good conversations.

13. What is the best advice you were ever given in terms of business?
You can want anything as long as you are willing to give enough for it.

14. What's the most common life advice that you give to your friends?
use a condom.
talk it out.
if it's worth it, you'll make time for it.

15. What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word devotion?
Love, adoration... never giving up, loyalty.

16. What are you most interested in?
Not being a pathetic loser. The crossed out answer... that's how I am during those dark days (months). Right now I can't imagine feeling that way about myself but I'm not so cocky that I think it could never happen again. Nonetheless, I feel a lot better about myself today and I can answer this a little more fully.
I am interested in making people feel good, but not temporarily. Like, teaching them something that makes their life a little easier on the hard days. I am interested in reading and learning and photography. Capturing moments, taking it in.

17. What are you incredibly grateful for?
SO. MANY. THINGS.
The ocean, my family, the fact that molecules came together and made me, pretty nail polish, the feeling of cotton, a warm blanket on a cool night, cuddles, emotions (even the not so good ones), my eyes to see with, my brain to take it all in with, my friends, my mind, clean water to drink, being able to see the ocean for my lunch break 3 days a week, having a job (or three), food, specifically french toast right now I wish I had some, a body that works and is for the most part healthy, living in a place where I can express myself without fear of death or torture... I'm thankful for my cat and dog and the nutty things they do. I'm grateful for a good song that sends chills down my spin, or one that just makes me want to dance...
I'm grateful for a lot. I have a lot to be grateful for. I am very blessed.

18. What's your form of service to the world?
If only I knew. I really, really want to know.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - The Stop-Doing List

How's this for a rationalization? It just doesn't feel right.

I wanted to dance for joy when I read those two lines. For absolute joy because I've spent my life explaining myself and rationalizing to others as well as myself. And sometimes, many times, I couldn't put the feelings into words, I just knew something wasn't right, that there was a real reason, a real block, for not moving forward. But without facts and logic to back it up there was disbelief and attempts to stick things out or really get to know a person that my gut had already decided wasn't good. No more. I'll be civil if it's absolutely necessary, but if I meet someone and get that feeling, it's done. If I start a job and it just doesn't feel right, it's on to the next, no matter the paycheck or the way it will look on the resume.

Look back on your year and get very clear about what sucked. What didn't work, got mired in resentment, felt onerous, weight you deadly down?

- Spending money I didn't have

- Loan from a family member (this isn't a lack of appreciation, it's acknowledging the problems that came with the loan)

- Staying too long in a place because of fears
- a dude

What will you stop doing? Effective immediately?
What I have stopped since the first reading of this book:

- I have stopped using my credit card 

- I have stopped making myself miserable about how I look, how I act, what I do... and where I am at

- I have stopped giving away my power
- I have stopped caring about aforementioned dude
- I have stopped what was wrong with me, because I've stopping thinking there is something wrong

Moving forward:
- I will stop making excuses to not exercise
- I will stop cutting down my hope
- I will stop taking good moments for granted
- I will stop raining on my own parade
- I will stop checking instagram and facebook obsessively... no really

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions: What Business Are You Really In?

When you feel an idea comin' on, excuse yourself. Pull over to the side of the road. Get lost in the creative flow. Be late. Barge in.

What would someone pay you $100/hour to tell/teach/inform them about?
This one is really difficult for me, I am not sure what people would pay me that much for. I use to get paid $20 a hour and I knew she was being generous. This is not to say I don't do good work, or that I don't work hard, I definitely do, I just don't know what I would get paid $100 an hour doing.
I can throw out some guesses...
- organizing their house and then their life
- how to better communicate with a friend, family member, etc

What are you repeatedly telling/showing/explaining to your clients? What do they want more of from you? What are they always asking for?
Clients and people around me are two different things. My clients aren't mine at this time. They are there for my boss or the place I work in.
So with that in mind, what do I find myself explaining to people, what are they always asking for?
- answers to proper wording
- advice about what to do about a friend or family member or other relationships,
- questions about books

What do you know about? What's your knowledge base? What do you know that other people don't?
I have a hard time figuring out what I know that other people don't know. Things that I know don't seem so out of the ordinary and often times I'm surprised when someone doesn't know something I am talking to them about. I'm still trying to figure that out.

How does your service/offering/product make people feel? What problem does it solve, or what state does it create?
Again, I'm still not sure.

What's your message? (Everyone has a message.) What do you stand for?
I stand for self confidence, I stand for self esteem... for feeling good about one self. Mostly because it's been a rocky road for me and I see other people and wonder why they don't like what they are. It's a strange thing self perception...
I don't stand for excessive cockiness though. Fine lines and such.

What is the vehicle for your knowledge?
Word of mouth? I don't think I'm ready for this worksheet yet.

Who wants what you've got? (values + lifestyle, and "types" of people)


Who needs what you've got? (Even though they may not know it yet.)

I am at a loss for most, if not all, of these questions. I don't have a service that provides something different than anyone else yet. I serve food in an expensive movie theater. I smile and say nice things, I joke and such and then bring them the bill. I try not to interrupt their together time. But as far as providing a service that someone would pay $100/hour for I'm stumped.

I explain to my clients how the system works at my job, but that wouldn't be something transferable.

What do I know that others don't? A little bit of this and maybe a little bit of that. I have random bits of knowledge acquired through google during random conversations, but is there something bigger than that? I'm just trying to read and experience life and figure it all out myself.

For the most part I try to make people feel good. I like to make people laugh. Maybe more than making people laugh I like people to think that I'm funny. Because if they were laughing because I did something stupid (aka at me instead of with me) then I wouldn't like it very much at all. I control when and how I get laughed at.

Vehicle: word of mouth, blog, twitter, facebook.

Who wants what I've got? For a price? I'm not sure... for free? friends.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Comfort Zoning

.
This chapter is by far, above and beyond, my favorite. It jams on instincts about people and situations, about how, if you are in tune and listening to yourself, you can avoid many a mistake and bad choice. It starts off talking about theories and a mindset that keeps us away from many a bad choice, and in the end it comes to remind you of what you can do to pick back up when intuition is ignored and the inevitable mistake becomes a thing that happened. We're all learning, sometimes our intuition tell us something that we just don't want to believe and so we try to prove it wrong... and that's where learning comes in. Pick up, brush off, learn from it, listen harder.

The first time someone shows themselves to you, believe them.

- Maya Angelou

When I do the following, I am guaranteed to feel close to 100% improved:

- visit San Francisco, specifically time with Chelsea and Ruby

- go out with close friends dancing or even just to dinner

- watch a favorite movie/reading a favorite book
- starting and finishing a small project

When I do the following, I will likely feel a sense of relief or improvement:

- work out

- dance

- travel

- sit at the beach

- photo adventure/walk

- write it out

- talk it out with one of a few good, close friends

Even though I think that doing the following will bring me relief and comfort, they actually aren't helpful at all:

- sleeping all day

- eating crappy food

- buying things (magazines, movies, other impulse buys)
- talking to guys from my past

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Deconstructing Fear

This week's chapter was about fear, what it's made of, why it should be listened to, but not given full rein, and it was also about learning how to take criticism and learn from it without letting it stop you from trying again.

We want to notice fear and meet it directly while it's still an emotion, not a behavior.

Current Fears:

- not being able to make more than I am making now

- being single forever

- not being able to pay my bills

Why am I afraid of not making more money?

Because I want a lifestyle that is a little more expensive, because I can live where I am at but it is tiring, because I want time to travel and explore and where I'm at currently gives losing days at work a lot of power to leave me without enough money.

Because I want to consider myself successful, because I want people that tell me I'm meant for something big to be right, because I don't want them to think they are wrong. Because I want to be happy. Because I don't want to worry about a for fun purchase putting me back. Because I don't want to have to worry about taking a sick day when I am sick, or a personal health day when I really need a break.

Why am I afraid of being single forever?

This one is a bit of a doozy. There are many, many reasons I don't want to be single forever, one is because I have finally admitted to myself that I want to be married at some point and that I want a kid. If you knew me in high school you would know how big of a change this is. I am afraid of being single forever because I fall into the habit of asking myself why I am not good enough and these other people are. Because I'm only so strong and I would love to have some help keeping the faith in myself sometimes. Because I don't want to be the only person sleeping in this queen sized bed forever. Because I don't want to be single forever, because I feel like I have no control over it.

Why am I afraid of not being able to pay my bills?

Because I want to be self sufficient, because I don't want to have to ask for help anymore, because I will feel like an idiot and a failure if I can't get it right, people have told me for years that I'm smart and not being able to pay all of my bills doesn't seem very smart or resourceful to me.

How do you feel when you see the reasons behind your fears?

Basically it all boils down to this: I don't want to feel the depression I have felt before and I am definitely scared that it will come back, especially when I am feeling happy. I also don't want my dad to be disappointed in me... and finally I don't want to feel like a champion idiot that just can't get things right.

Part of me feels justified. I have fallen back into depression time and time again due to things listed above. It feels so horrible and when I'm happy I want nothing to do with that feeling of sadness and hopelessness. It isn't logical and I'm starting to learn how to ride it out instead of fight it, but my first instinct is to fight it and it makes the whole thing worse.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Dream Analysis

Three reasons why your dream is unreasonable or the odds are stacked against you:

- the economy is crap

- I don't have enough* experience

- In the past I have fallen into bad spending habits after having good periods
- Other people are better at these things than I am, or they have more money, etc

*what is enough really?

Three positive affirmative thoughts that dissolve bad vibes associated with unreasonable nature of your dreams:

- I have a good resume and excellent references and what I don't know I can learn.

- I'm working diligently to create better spending habits and haven't used my credit card in four eight(!!!) months.
- I moved out!!! 

Three persuasive, potentially outrageous actions that will create forward traction:

- create and implement a daily and weekly routine, wake up time, work out time and everything
- quit one of my jobs and find one that is a bajillion times better
- apply for jobs in San Francisco, get interviews, even if I don't end up taking the job or making the move

I don't feel really great about these answers, I know that this worksheet and the one yesterday need some revisiting and reworking. I've started recruitment for help. If you have any suggestions or comments about this week's FSS feel free to leave them below. :)

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Vision Prompting

What would be so amazing that you feel shy to even consider it?

What are your dreams?
- get a job that pays more than enough to cover bills and adventures and projects
- move out
- pay off debts (car, credit card, friends, Dr. T.)
Right now my dreams are on the smaller side. the section called for grandiose dreaming but right now I don't even know where to begin with that when I have a hard time seeing outside of my current situation. So here's the first things first. I will come back to this worksheet (and probably this whole book) when I have first things first taken care of.

+ So I've moved out... now what?
- travel to Argentina, Spain, France, Greece and England
- live in my own apartment
- make $60k a year
- live in a place with a lot of natural light
- have a family (eventually)
- live life that I am excited to wake up for just about every day

I want this because...
- I want to be able to take care of myself financially. I don't want to be dependent nor do I want to stress about buying a piece of clothing every once in a while.
- I don't want to stress about debts. I want to feel free from those kinds of burdens and able to put money away for fun things.
- I have wanted to travel for a long time, I love experiencing new places. Argentina was so incredible, I need more of that in my life. New challenges like speaking in unpracticed Spanish and somehow getting my point across. Eating new foods, seeing new, beautiful things, meeting new people.
- I need a place with natural light because I feel better in those kinds of places, I find myself down or depressed or willing to sleep a lot more when I live in darker places that need artificial light.
- Right now $60K looks like sitting pretty on a throne with a diamond necklace, I could have a small place that I really liked, by myself while taking a class or two and saving for the next trip to the next country.

Which dreams make you flush with excitement?
When I allow myself to be excited by the possibilities? Traveling, going back to Argentina, meeting someone special. I don't know if I'm a simple girl or if I just haven't allowed myself to expand on the dream front. I don't need fame and excessive fortune, I want to live in a nice house in a city/town I love, I want wood tables and comfortable couches and lots of light and some semblance of seasons. I want to have a reason to get out of bed, a want to create and work and a job that inspires and challenges me while also paying the bills.

What if none of these dreams are close to your heart?
If these dreams are not close to my heart than I have no idea what is. But maybe that's the issue.

Are you going to let any of the dreams go?
I use to want to be a singer, I'm letting it go. I can sing as loud and as horrible as I am capable in my car. That doesn't mean I won't ever try voice lessons, but traveling around the US if not the world riding on the talent of my voice is not a dream I have anymore.
I let go of the dream of owning a music venue or a store. I don't want something that keeps me in one place all the time that is hard to leave. I also don't have an interest in booking bands anymore.

Who will you share your dream with?
I have been sharing them with my friends Rachael, Chelsea, Amanda, Beth... These ones aren't scary to let people in on yet. They are what is expected.

Who already knows about your dream?
Those mentioned above.

Which dreams will you choose to realize?
One step at a time, those I allow myself to dream.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Purge the Past and Glory Boarding

Despite wanting to keep each of the worksheets separate, life came in again and this week was mostly about hanging out with friends after work and getting acquainted with my new place. Luckily these two worksheets go hand in hand... so here we go a couple days late but still full of truth and heart:

Purging the Past is about getting rid of those unresolved feelings, the ones that pop up during your thoughts of the current and the future. The ones that make you doubt. Purge it, acknowledge it, ruminate for a second or two and then it's time for Glory Boarding... looking to the same past, but the good parts, the things I did well, doesn't matter if I was 5 or 25 when it happened, acknowledge it, gain strength from it and let's go!

You can't face forward until you've processed your past.

Think about your three favorite screwups. 

Not putting myself out there enough to screw up majorly...
Letting doubt control my decisions. 

What did you learn?

I'm learning that there's something to be said for failing. I'm looking back and wondering what I have to show, even if I screwed up I would have a lot of work to show before the screw up happened. I've had small setbacks, but I've never put myself out there enough to have room to fall that far.

Can you see a pattern from the lessons you learned?

A lack of push once things get rough, a shut down in the mind. I stopped wanting my first passion after I turned it into a failure in my head. Looking at it now, I'm not sure it was, more bad timing and eventually a burn out of the passion. It happens. 

How did what you learned change the way you approach things?

It's time to put a little (lot) more heart in it, a little more of me. Time to allow passion and hope to flow again, not to keep it bottled and safe so that I don't get hurt. Turns out disappointment still comes up even with a protected heart.

Now it's time to Glory Board...
Create a resume of wonder, what have you done well in your life. Go back as far as you want... use the prompts, etc.

inspired: 

launched: this blog and a couple of others...

earned: money to pay rent, buy clothes, buy food, get tattoos...

graduated: cum laude from Portland State, with honors from SDA

wrote: a short piece about one of my sisters, this blog, wrote some awesome essays over the years

produced: 

raised: my standards, my confidence level

wrangled: 

traveled: to Argentina with a group of people I didn't know and spoke Spanish to strangers. 

motivated: myself to move out

sold: 

bought: the art on my arm and foot... there will be more

gave: 

made: Four (+) blankets for my friends and their babies.

won: 

organized: my friend's garage, my room countless times, local band shows

transformed: 

discovered: 

- booked a show, all by myself, that brought 300 people to the Epicentre. That show led to the next show with the same band that sold out. 

- was a part of a 100% A+ paper where we, as a group, dissected a piece of media... the paper was selected for a conference and published in the anthology

my thoughts: These kinds of exercises are very difficult for me. I have trouble thinking of things I have done well in my life. Everything seems so average to me. Yes I had good grades all through high school and college... but so did a lot of other people. I've moved to Portland twice, one time I had to move out of the comfortable apartment I had with my best friend of the time to an apartment I found on craigslist, before finding that one I spent an afternoon riding the bus everywhere in 30 degree temperatures looking at places that were sketchy. Not only that but I ended up walking a good 15 blocks at the end of the day, in that cold, because the guy at the bus stop I was at was smoking in the little shelter and I just didn't want to wait for the bus. I mean, it's not like we don't all have hard-ish times to get through, but remembering those kinds of days makes me realize I have a little more fight in me, a little more wherewithal than I give myself credit for. Sometimes you just do it because there really is no other option, even if it is way colder than you have ever experience before and even if there's a creepy man at the bus stop smoking where he isn't suppose to. 

Even if.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - The Burning Questions

(not to be mistaken for questions about a burning feeling in your lower region... see a doctor)

Week 3, Part 2: Eleven questions to be answered with honesty... some were easy for me, and others not so much. 

Freedom starts when you can identify the aggravation you've been accommodating for so long.

When someone at a party asks you what you do, what do you say? And how do you feel when you say it.

I work at a movie theater and two photo studios. I read a lot and I like to take pictures with a variety of different kinds of camera. Oh yes, and I blog. Aaaand now since fall is kind of here, I make blankets.

I feel embarrassed about the low wage jobs that don't have a goal to connect with other than making some money. I don't like that I work for $8 an hour at a place that is below my experience and expertise. I feel bad writing that because I think it makes me seem snobby. Or maybe that's when people remind me that some with Master's degrees are working these kinds of jobs as well. 

No matter if that is true or not I hold myself to a higher standard despite the state of the economy. So, I feel bad, or dumb or embarrassed.

What do people thank you for most often? What do they come to you for, or say about you, most frequently? (+ or -)

On a good day they ask for advice or a listening ear. They ask for ideas of how to get through a tangle with their significant other or good friend. They ask for questions on what's next... either or... positive and negatives. 

People ask me or come to me with organization needs. 

When they talk about me the positive is that I'm funny, fun, blunt, hard working...

Other times I'm bitchy, have attitude problems, blunt, selfish

When do you feel powerful, passionate, free, incredibly useful, excited or inspired?

taking pictures

dancing

when traveling

when writing thoughtful pieces

when I help someone learn something new

while looking at beautiful photos

inspired when reading certain books
organizing things

What do you think your form of genius is? What are you amazing at? 

I don't feel like I am amazing at anything, no genius, just common knowledge. That being said, I am on a hunt for passions and genius. Not a hunt with guns and knives, there will be no trapping... more like a wandering adventure... taking time to stop and appreciate. Let things sink in.

Who do you think is really cool, elegant or powerful?

Lauren Conrad (so shoot me)
Emma Stone
Taylor Swift

Danielle of Sometimes Sweet
Becka of Life as an Artistpreneur
Elise of Enjoy It
And then my friends. Each has their own quality that I find incredible and inspiring and look up to.

What's chronic, repetitive, or inflamed in your inner and outer life?

- wanting someone to tell me what to do next and how to do it, but then finding reasons not to do just what they say

- hiding from rejection; guys and jobs

- perfectionism in anything and everything

- self doubt and self deprecation
- lack of money for bills and projects
- depression, it's a cycle I go through and I think it's situational, but I also think it is caused by my interpretation of things

What's always in the back of your mind?

- framing the image I'm seeing in a camera
- doubt, certainty that I'm not good enough

- lack

What would you like to stop doing?

- second guessing

- self doubt and loathing

- biting my nails

- spending more than I make

- waiting for the "right" time

- whining

- making excuses

How much money would you like to be making?

Eventually $70,000 per year. 

Right now, in the next year I would like to be making $35k - $40k. 

How would you like to be seen, recognized, acknowledged, awarded, praised?

I want to be appreciated. I don't need something big like a tv segment or anything but I would like to be known at least by a group of people, and the work I create appreciated. I don't need red carpet fame, just to be valued.

By a significant other: with cuddles and forehead kisses and small (or large) out of the blue surprises. I want to be in a balanced partnership where wants, needs, dreams and aspirations are respected and applauded. Also, great sex. I mean, duh, girl's got needs.

So... what would you like to do with your life and career? (Money is no object... dream)

Travel, see places in the states and out of it. Write. Live in an apartment flooded with natural light. Decorated simply and elegantly with little bits and bobbles that show a bit about me. I want a room for a pole or to exercise. I want a work space with a large desk cleared of clutter for a computer with photoshop and such for blogging, photography and other work stuff. Eventually I want a house but that dream isn't quite set in stone. Currently the house of my dreams looks somewhat like the one in The Lucky One... wide open, lots of light, lots of wood, cavernous rooms that are not too large square foot wise but with higher ceilings. I want a porch for this house. I want a balcony for the apartment, must be able to sit outside. With that being said I want the upstairs apartment if it's only two levels, maybe higher than that if there are more stories. I want to see Barcelona, Madrid, parts of Greece, Paris and England with Chelsea. I want to take Chelsea to Portland and show her the fun times. I want to work in an inspiring and artistic job with people that become lifelong friends. 

I will have a kitten that will grow into a small cat. I'm not sure if I'm still going to name her Miss Moo but she will be my buddy. I won't go back to living with family or relying on them monetarily. I am my own person with potential and abilities and education that rivals just about anyone else. All that's missing is confidence. 

I would take classes in Argentina for photography and move there for 6 months to more fully explore what I had a chance to see a few years ago. I would try out Nashville and the Carolinas. 

I would have an awesome wardrobe that wasn't overflowing but had pieces for just about any occasion. My walls of my apartment or house will have beautiful art and small amounts of decoration. My bed will be comfortable, covered in blankets (mostly during the winter) and look soft, fluffy and white. I will be in a committed relationship and eventually in a long term committed relationship (not necessarily the same just like there is a time for a well lit apartment in my life and a time for a house) with a gorgeous individual who adores me just as much as I adore them. One day there will be a child. One day.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Core Desired Feelings

Week 3... I'm doing two worksheets/chapters this week. This one is about working out how I want to feel. It's about getting to the root of all the different words I could come up with (don't worry, I'm not talking about the latin root, we aren't conjugating) and finding the main ones. I know how I want to feel changes from time to time and so this kind of exercise can be tricky, but I'm reminding myself (over and over) that there are no wrong answers and each time I go through I can change. Turns out I had different answers yet again, I've done this exercise like 4 times now. But I'm getting there, I'm starting to really figure out what it is I want to feel, more than anything else.  I am getting to the foundation feelings, ones that will allow me to find ground to stand on so I can add other ones in later.

... choosing to focus on the feelings that you want to feel is a surer way to create the experience that you want to experience.

How do you want to feel in your life?
- excited
- capable
- desirable
- intelligent
- able
- wanted
- important
- beautiful
- confident
- composed
- elegant
- graceful
- strong
- flexible
- fun
- loved
- admired
- charming
- creative
- agile
- curious
- prolific
- worthy
- helpful
- influential
- artistic
- valued
- powerful
- well rounded
- alive
- stable - in my body and mind
- alluring
- energetic
- captivating
- supported

Whittle down the list to 3-5 words...
- invigorated: I want to WANT to get out of bed because I am excited and full of energy for the day
- prolific: fruitful, productive
- confident: in who I am and what I've done and what I will do in the future
- open: welcoming of new possibilities, opportunities, abilities
- valued: in love, in life, in friendship, in work... I want to feel that I bring value to the table.

Five to ten accomplishments or experiences that will make me feel this way
Confident -
moving out
paying off credit card, doctor and car debt (and library fees)
landing a job that speaks to me

Prolific -
writing daily, blogging weekly, photographing every couple of days
having a picture and writing published or in print
performing and competing

Valued -
dating/getting into a relationship
listening to friends... being there for them
landing a job that speaks to me*

Invigorated -
traveling
landing a job that speaks to me

*I found a pattern it seems, time to start getting excited about job hunting

Three things I will do today to generate these feelings:
1. write, crochet, take pictures
2. talk to a friend, answer a friend's email
3. review my resume

Three things I will do this week to generate these feelings:
1. polish up resume
2. search jobs
3. go on an hour long photo adventure

Three things I will do this quarter to generate these feelings:
1. get a full time job that challenges me and keeps my interest
2. move out
3. save for a trip

Three people to collaborate with who help me feel this way:
1. Beth
2. Brandi
3. Chelsea

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - Easy Priorities

Well, here we are, week two of The Fire Starter Sessions. 
This week is about making more time for things that we find to be easy. It's not about being lazy, it's about getting things done and building confidence in your abilities and in projects. Without further ado... week two:

The path of least resistance isn't about shortcuts, cutting corners, or being clever. And it's certainly not about making mediocrity acceptable. It's about optimizing the truth. It's about casting your seeds on the most fertile soil for your best chances for success.

What actually needs to get done in your life and livelihood... what MUST happen for things to run smoothly?
- Food, water, shelter, sleep
- exercise (dancing)
- earning a living
- managing finances
- laundry, household cleaning
- cooking
- reading
- writing
- spending time with friends
- getting out of the house and meeting new people
- trying new things
- creating
- blog
- taking pictures
- shower and primping
- date, cuddle, make out etc
- AT LEAST one day off a week
- shopping for groceries
- travel and exploration

What's your competency level for each activity?
- food and water  -> decent
- sleep -> Okay right now, I give up sleep to read more lately.
- exercise, specifically what I love doing -> decent, had a patch of not great
- earning a living -> needs improvement though I'm not in horrible or bad land
- managing finances -> decent, on the way to good
- laundry, household cleaning -> depends on the week, decent to great
- cooking -> needs improvement... not in the actual cooking but in the motivation to do so
- reading -> brilliant
- writing -> eh. I must write more.
- spending time with friends -> I have my weeks of good and my weeks of hermit
- getting out of the house and meeting new people -> sorely lacking
- trying new things -> lame
- creating -> lame, need to get back to my blankets and other projects
- blog -> decent, goal of great
- taking pictures -> decent with a goal of brilliant
- shower and primping -> it wouldn't hurt me to shower more. But I look pretty good most days.
- date, cuddle, make out, etc -> lame
- taking a day off -> needs improvement, have to get those days to actually feel like they are a day off
- shopping for groceries -> lame
- travel and exploration -> moments of decent, mostly bad

Which of those activities actually makes you feel strengthened?
-exercise (dance)
- reading
- writing
- spending time with friends
- meeting new people
- blogging
- creating
- taking pictures
- dating
- travel and exploration
- trying new things

Which of the activities don't really light your fire?
- grocery shopping
- laundry
- going to a job I don't like even if I make money there

What can you do to develop the strengths and interests?
- taking writing and photography classes
- taking different types of dance classes
- short trips with days off
- taking my camera more places
- following different online tutorials for my camera
- plan more blog posts
- photoshop and classes

What three actions will you take this week to nourish your true strengths?
- go to at least one dance class
- write once a day
- have an hour long photo adventure

What three actions will you take to decrease your time spent on activities that drag you down?
- make one big meal that can be taken for lunch at least a few days
- spend 5-10 minutes a day cleaning part of bathroom, kitchen, or room
- write down purchases right after I make them

I'm going to end this with my other favorite quotation from this session...

If it isn't a "Hell yes!," then it's a no.

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte

The Fire Starter Sessions - An Introduction & Passion Play

The Fire Starter Sessions, an Introduction:
For the past few months, scratch that, past few years I've been feeling a little lost. I'll think and think and think and try to find something I want to do, something I am meant to do, but I don't dream big, I don't believe I can have anything I ask for (big or small) and so I don't ask people, bosses, the world, the universe, for what I want. I usually have to have a really great reason for asking for something, but the problem with finding really great reasons for them to say yes, is that I can always find decent reasons why someone's going to say no, and I anticipate it, and then take it as the last word when it comes.
I've read several books that could be labeled "self improvement"over the years, I've read magazine articles, I've written words and thoughts and ideas, I've made half assed promises to myself through these readings and still, I find myself in similar circumstances feeling like my travels have been in circles on a level field, no upward movement, or if there is, only a very (and I mean very) slight incline.
Then I picked up The Fire Starter Sessions. And with TFSS I promised myself that I would read, and re-read this book, I would do the worksheets and stick with them even if the questions made me cry (and they did and do, often) until I got something out of it. The good news is, the book is awesome. From page one I was drawn in and I connected with what was being said. The first step was there, laid out, made easy for me, Danielle LaPorte was putting things in terms I understood.
During the first run through I searched for other bloggers who were sharing their answers to the worksheets because I was confused or unsure. I knew technically there were no wrong answers but I wanted examples, I often do.
The first run through was tough, I didn't have a lot of answers, my dreams were small, very small, and I figured out I'd stopped hoping, like hoping enough to believe something could without magic. So I decided to go through the exercises again, I decided a second reading would be great, and this time I would share my answers here, on the blog. If I was searching for some examples, surely there's someone else out there looking for them too.
Every Thursday (and sometimes Friday) from now until the end of the year I will be posting my answers to the worksheets along with a quotation that I found helpful or enlightening. Some of these worksheets will still be difficult for me, but I promise I'll do my best to stay positive and full of hope.
Oh yes, and I highly recommend this book. There have been many tears to grace the pages, but also a lot of enthusiastic underlining and ah ha moments.

With all that said, here we begin!

"Be careful what you're good at - you could end up doing it for years."

Worksheet #1: Passion Play
What are you intensely interested in... include moderate curiosities as well.
intensely:
- dancing
- reading
- writing
- self improvement
- the dynamic of relationships, family, friend and romantic
- photography
- collecting beautiful pictures
- trying a new project and succeeding (ie: making something)
- sharing stories, interests and suggestions
- story telling
- making people laugh, comedy
- making connections with other humans
- self expression
- blogging
moderate:
- cooking and baking
- drawing and painting
- crocheting and sewing

You go to the best cocktail party ever. You meet the most awesome, helpful, resourceful people and they offer to contribute to your career and interests... Who's there, what info did they share, what did they ask, how did they offer to help?

Who's there:
Lauren Conrad, Kelly Cutrone, Zooey Deschanel, Emma Stone, Alexandra Patsavas, Ryan Gosling {I'm just going with dreaming big okay? ;)}, John Green, Becka Robinson, Ellen Degeneres, Taylor Swift, Hayley Williams

Lauren Conrad - Her real life and work story. People can say what they want about how she got where she is but she got what she wanted and is doing great. I've love to talk about her different projects, her Style book, her YA novels, her website The Beauty Department and everything in between. I would even promise not to ask about Heidi. I would also love to watch the show she was suppose to have that MTV ended up not picking up because it wasn't dramatic enough.

Kelly Cutrone - read her book If You Have To Cry Go Outside and fell in love. She's such a fierce woman and has so much more to her than was shown on The Hills. I mean, duh, it was The Hills... but still. I feel like I could get a good strong kick in the pants with strong steps to follow from her. I am not interested in breaking into the fashion industry, and I know the first two ladies I put in are both involved in that, but their work ethic and their projects inspire me. I want to be as in love with what I do as they are.

Zooey Deschanel - Another power house of a woman. She sings, acts, and has Hello Giggles. She does comedy, she can be serious, she basically seems to do what she wants, no questions asked. Also, I would love for her to take me shopping so I could find some of the stuff she wears. Adorable.

Emma Stone - teach me to be as cool as you. I feel like we could really get along though. I mean, of course I feel like that when I've never known the person but seriously, I think we could be funny together. She could teach me more of her ways. She's incredible.

Alexandra Patsavas - I use to want this woman's job SO BAD. I mean, she chooses the soundtrack for some awesome shows, gives small bands an awesome opportunity, she gets to listen to new music all day and decide how it will fit in a 30 minute to hour long show. Awesome.
I don't want that job anymore, but she did start her own company and became really successful and well known (at least I think so) and I could definitely hear about that.

Ryan Gosling - duh (Just search Ryan Gosling reads Hey Girl)

John Green - Definitely my favorite author. I love the voice that he creates, I love the characters and the feelings he puts into his novels. I just love, love, love it all. If the terms of meeting him meant I couldn't ask him specific questions about any of his books I would be fine. I want to know more of the process and the inspiration behind what he does. How he got to where he is... etc. If he really believes in the love he writes about.

Becka Robinson - She's my all time, favorite business, inspiration, get it together and go blogger. The Coffee Cup Chats I love so much, she's honest, she says what needs to be said and she likes to read. She talk about books that I end up liking a lot. I also love the design of her blog, it's so visually pleasing, blog crush for sure. Also, I would get photography lessons from her.

Ellen Degeneres - She's so frickin funny and I love her. I would love to know more about her transition from coming out on her show to then getting her talk show. It definitely wasn't an easy time but she kept going and she's rocking life and I want to hear that, to remind myself that I haven't had that kind of thing to push past, that there is a way to be happy or at least continue pushing when things look bad.

Taylor Swift - I mean, I would want to be buddies and talk about boys and such. Don't get me wrong, I feel like she has a LOT of information to share about her success and her work to get there... but I feel like we could giggle too. And then we'd go shopping and after we would come home to an apartment because we'd end up being roommates (despite the face that she probably has her own house etc) and we'd bake cookies. This girl and her music keeps me from feeling crazy, she reminds me that sometimes you just need to get it out, and then move on and make big bucks being talented and awesome.

Hayley Williams - Ms. Hayley has been one of my favorites since I first found out about her. A voice that just keeps getting better, plays with the boys but can also be a girl, rocks out, writes what's going on even if it gets a little crazy in her life. Her energy and dedication is something to aspire to.

If you could go to five conferences or events this year which ones would you go to or what would they be about?
- Camp Shutter Sisters
- The Wild Rest
- pole convention
- tattoo convention
- SXSW Interactive

What could you talk about late into the night with like-minded people without running out of things to say?
Life, past stories, relationships, all types of photography, books and music and back to life experiences. Give me the right people and we will talk forever.

What activities make you feel really useful, alive, and strong?
- pole and go go dancing
- photography
- when people get something good out of what I say or do
- listening and helping out friends

What do you want to be known for?
I want to be known for the positive impact I've made of people's lives. I want to be known for the work I do because it's beautiful and inspiring, two words that get used very frequently and seem to have lost a lot of meaning. I want my beautiful creations and words to inspire positive feelings.

Next week: Easy Priorities

xoxo

The Fire Starter Sessions and all included worksheets were written and created by Danielle LaPorte