September

I need a clean out, the fresh start of a new month. A new season. Technically it starts at the end of September but I'll call it here, enjoy the remaining parts of the hopefully less harsh parts of summer and take a step back from, you know, I don't exactly know what I am taking a step back from, but something. The spending for sure.
September 1st will be a reset. August has felt a little loose around the edges, I want to bring it back together, get on a track for a while and get into a rhythm. That word is always so tricky to spell. Turns out keeping a life rhythm is also tricky.

I've been seeing a couple of awesome instagramers/bloggers coming into some work with themselves, clearing some blocks, making connections to why they do the things they don't like that they do, and it's so real and wonderful. I've been missing the real in a lot of the blogging world, I've been searching for people who are dropping a uniform that's become so prevalent. I've constantly on the hunt for real.

I'm writing more, not just here but at home, in journals. I'm getting more honest with myself, I'm looking at things that use to come harsh criticisms and then avoidance with a softer eye. I still feel sad or something like it, I don't think sad is quite the right word, tired, maybe. Trying to unravel some knots, some blocks, going back to places where I don't accept myself but wondering if there is a way to not accept something while also not punishing myself for it or beating it into submission. For example, not liking the shapes my body is currently forming but not making it about a lack of worth and not immediately working out hard doing things I hate and won't last. I'm trying to look from different angles, ask different questions, lean in and find tiny bits of love and forms of acceptance where I can.

September, I'm ready for you. Bring on a new rhythm.

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