Permission Granted

For many year I have stifled myself. I know I am not alone in this. The worst part, I (we) don't realize we are doing it. It's a curse of perfectionism, of living up to this movie screen montage of what life is "suppose" to look like. Well, I'm tired, and I want to feel joy instead of make sure it looks like I'm feeling joy. I'm giving myself permission to let go of perfectionism, and it looks just a little like this:

I hereby proclaim permission granted for the following:

To do what I feel I need to do in order to create a beautiful and fulfilling life. If that means saving one quarter and racking up a little bit of debt (on worthwhile, long term things) the next or vice versa then so be it. If it means leaving a decent man to chase an idea of something, fine.

To be exactly who I am... Apologize when it comes out a little too rough, but also know that grace is real and it happens to the best of us.

Leave a relationship that just isn't working. Work, friend, love, business deals, hair length (it can totally be a relationship), fashion trend...

Wear what I want to wear.

Leave a job if it feels really stifling (as long as I've done my part to communicate my needs and try to make it work).

Take a nap when my body is feeling tired, when the sun is shining in just right and my bed looks like a wonderland.

Speak up.

Eff up. It's going to happen. Push past my dear.

Love the crap out of shows like Pretty Little Liars and Hart of Dixie. Justify it by telling myself "at least it's not Desperate Housewives of ________________." Who cares.

Get excited, about anything. Chipmunks, they are exciting and cute and wonderful and we don't see them in Southern California, get excited about them. Get excited about caftans because Gala Darling looked like she had an awesome vacation in them and they look so airy and wonderful for the warmer months. Get excited about glitter or all black or Carmex chapstick in a tube instead of in a pot. I don't care. Permission granted, get excited.

Like trendy shit. Don't like trendy shit. Hate it and eventually be that b who comes around and likes it months and months later because she couldn't stand that everyone was talking about it at first. Be "wrong", change my mind, change it back. Love it, hate it... respect others ability to do the same.

Stop liking things I loved before if it just isn't feeling good anymore. Times change. It's okay.

Believe that the life I want is absolutely and totally possible. The pay I want is achievable and more than reasonable. The experiences I want to have are not unheard of. The places I want to go are easy to reach. The people that I want to meet exist. So on and so forth...

Believe that life is an ultimately positive experience.

Waste hours perusing beautiful blog posts and pinterest boards. If my work is done and I'm inspired (not envious) then have at it.

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Access Denied:
Self loathing, nit picking, unrealistic expectations. None of that is fun and even worse, none of that gets anything done. Nothing and everything in life is super serious. Keep going, you don't suck even when you do sucky things... do your best at what you want to do your best at.

xoxo