Turning 31 Road Trip

I turned 31 this week. There's a lot to be said about that but then again, nothing at all. When I first moved to Nashville I had dreams of driving all over and going to so many different states but two and half years later I have only been into the southernmost part of Kentucky and as far south as Atlanta. I decided to do something about that this year and so I booked a night at an AirBnB in Louisville, TN and planned some stops along the way.

The trip was quick, one day out, one day back but I did manage to see a lot. A pink elephant, Hidden Hollow amusement park (unfortunately it was closed), Minister's Treehouse (I did not trespass to get closer, maybe one day), and Cotton Eyed Joe's all took up my first day. On the way back I went through Pigeon Forge (the love pancakes and old time photos), Gatlinburg (was a street away from the fire damage I guess) and into Knoxville (still getting hit by the drought pretty hard) then back home.

I hope to get a few more of these in over the year. Maybe Louisville, KY and Charlotte, NC. Gotta do what I came here to do.

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February/March

February has been unseasonably warm. It's wonderful!

February Goals:
- donate to one new organization: signed up to donate time - I signed up to be a volunteer at a Mud Run in May and this weekend I will be helping weed at a farm for The The Trust for Tennessee. Pretty excited about these.
- one date - accomplished
- at least one call to each of the designated family members - accomplished
- plan my 31st birthday party and/or mini trip - done! I will be setting out to a horse farm by the Smoky Mountains this weekend!
- read books I am excited to read (try to keep it at 4) - accomplished
- exercise 4x a week - DID IT! This is two full months of vigorously moving at least 4x a week.
- spend less than I make - ACCOMPLISHED! Clearly I am pretty excited about this. I have been working on my budgeting system and tracking each month, figuring out what I want to get out of it and this month I even took out the value of two extra days of pay in a short month and saved it for my birthday and STILL I spent less than I made. Praise hands and what not.
- create something... seriously anything (paint a picture, work on the blanket, edit some old photos) - did not do well with this, I am going to add working on the blanket to March
- take a walk/hike in a new park and visit a new part of Nashville every weekend: I did this a couple times but not every weekend
- continue on with gratitude/daily pages - accomplished
- file taxes - accomplished

*The lessons I learned and will carry on from February is/are: I get pulled into drama, not just with other people but in my mind, which means I also create some myself. The lesson I want to carry forward is to invest less, to notice when I'm getting pulled in to others issues as well as when I'm getting pulled under my own, I want to take the importance away from being in the know, to walk away from things that can admittedly be very entertaining and to react slower.

March Goals
- Get all travel plans locked in for trip home in June (plane, parking, rental car, possible mini trip)
- Order bridesmaid's dress for wedding
- at least one call to five family members
- exercise 4x a week: This time focusing on 3 times in gym or hike and then one free exercise any way I want
- stay in food budget - don't let overspending on food take from other categories
- work on the swiss cross blanket
- explore somewhere new every week

*Something I want to experiment with in March is: meditation

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*These questions are part of Nicole from Real Talk Radio's monthly review. I highly recommend her podcast.

January/February

January didn't go as planned (it never really does).

January Goals:
- Start a Low FODMAP Diet - absolutely crashed and burned on this one. Managed to: continued with a probiotic, start taking a multivitamin, and try out a lot of different recipes though
- Work out 4 times a week - ACCOMPLISHED!!! Most of those times were in my apartment gym but a couple times they were out on trails and a few they were dancing in a bar (preferred method of cardio)
- Family phone calls - Not so great, definitely need to get better at this.
- Spend less than I make - this was a draw. Didn't put anything on credit or dip into savings but did have extra money from Christmas AND spent way too much on food trying to figure out the Low FODMAP stuff.

Unintentional January Goals:
- Do more social things away from line dancing bar: Did this well. I did go a couple of times but I also stayed away for a couple of weekends and caught up with other friends. Success.
- Find causes to volunteer for and donate to: Started donating to Boot Campaign and have some others in mind for the next few months.

...

I looked at my list and didn't really feel anything so I will be reworking my goals yet again. I'm looking for smaller changes over longer terms. I want to end 2017 feeling better than I ever have and while I would love it to be with huge things accomplished I may have to settle with gradual improvement. Here are some of the possibilities for this month:

February Goals:
- donate to one new organization: this month focusing on reproductive health/women's rights and environment/land conservation
- one date
- at least one call to each of main family members
- plan my 31st birthday party and/or mini trip
- read books I am excited to read (try to keep it at 4)
- exericise 4x a week
- spend less than I make
- create something... seriously anything (paint a picture, work on the blanket, edit some old photos)
- take a walk/hike in a new park and visit a new part of Nashville every weekend
- continue on with gratitude/daily pages
- file taxes - done!

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Books of January

I started the year with a goal for a low number of books in 2017. I wanted to limit, to par down, to get intentional and to, I guess, restrict. Then January came and as it went I read almost half of that number I was trying to limit myself to for the year. Clearly limiting is not my specialty. So I went back to the drawing board on this goal and decided there wasn't a number, but there was a feeling that I was looking for. So now, instead of a number my goals for reading are as follows.

In 2017 I want to:

...choose each book intentionally and invested in it rather than speed read
...spend the time I previously spent to escaping in cheap/fast/shallow reads working on creating, working out, and cooking
...read outside of my norm, authors and stories I wouldn't normally read

Before last year ended I felt like I was flying through books without really liking or remembering them. It was like the candy I was eating. Another sugar hit, another book checked off a list. I don't know that I was getting much out of it and I have a feeling I was also avoiding a lot of my life in the practice. I'm excited to see what this year of reading brings me.

Books of January

*Finding God in the Waves* (started in Dec.) - Loooooved.

Anansi Boys (started in Dec.) - Liked American Gods and Good Omens better.

Milk & Honey - heartache and hope

Gluten is My Bitch - Funny, informative, haven't gone gluten free yet but will use as a resource

Cabin Porn - Gorgeous pictures, makes me want to get the heck out of town

Balancing In Heels - Light read, I do like Kristin Cavallari better after reading this

Scrappy Little Nobody - I liked it, I laughed, but I'm not sure I needed to read it.

*Chasing Slow* - I kept this for the whole time the library allowed me to, I did not want to let it go, I want to buy myself a copy for my shelf. There was so much, soooo much in this that I wanted to read again and again.

Strong is the New Beautiful - some good exercise and eating info

Six of Crows - read this for a book club and was not disappointed, excited to read the sequel

Cookbooks:
I Quit Sugar Cookbook
The Low FODMAP Cookbook
The Complete Low FODMAP Diet

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Books of 2016

So many books in 2016! Holy smokes and what not. I plan on reading a lot less in 2017 which sounds like a funny goal for someone that reads so dang much, but there is a reason. While I liked a lot of the books I read I don't think I invested in them very much, looking over this list I could mix up the story line of two or three at least. I want to read for enjoyment and not just to pass time in the coming year. I also want to spend more time doing active things so if I get real serious on my book limit (which will be very hard, I am shooting for only 22 books in 2017) then there will be more time for other things, like writing, or creating something, or finding a second job, or working out.

Enough about that though, here's the list of the books I read (and mostly remembered) this year.

Loved:
Daughter of Smoke and Bone Series (3)
Red Queen Series (3)
This Raging Light
Brain Maker
Saint Anything
All the Bright Places
The Museum of Intangible Things
The Dirty Life
How To Be a Person In the World
Present Over Perfect
The Disenchantments
The Book of Speculation
The City Baker's Guide to Country Living
Wild in the Hollow
Scary Close
Holding Up the Universe
The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry
Harry Potter 3-7

Liked a lot:
Signs Point to Yes
Let's Get Lost
The Lake Season
Start with Why
Since You've Been Gone
Notes from a Blue Bike
The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo
Love Warrior
The 12 Days of Dash & Lily
Talking As Fast As I Can
Faithful

Somewhat enjoyed -> whatever:
Reasons to Stay Alive
The Crown
Art Before Breakfast
Maybe in Another Life
You Are Here
Knowing Your Value
Woman Code
You're So Money
The Geography of You and Me
The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck
Outrageous Openness
The Spender's Guide to Debt-Free Living
Dear Emma
Adulthood is a Myth
Fangirl
Sane New World
Sleep Smarter
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking
Now What?!
Loving My Actual Life
The Rules of Love and Grammar
Mystic Summer
The Museum of Heartbreak
The Islanders 1-8
Level Up Your Life
The Island House
Everything, Everything
Sex God

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2016 In Review

1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year?
The single best thing... goodness, such pressure on a question. I don't know that there is one big huge thing that happened that stands out, this year has been a lot of things working under the surface. I loved my time with Chelsea in New York, and sharing my city with Sarah and Dasha this summer. I am so stoked on the roommate I ended up with after some craziness, my salary that I got this year is nothing to turn my nose up at either.

2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened?
A relationship that I've been working through mentally.

3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?
Hearing myself say "I'll do my best, but I'm never going to be perfect." And feeling totally calm and accepting of that. (The conversation was in relation to God and faith and life and how it's not a merit based system and I have to keep reminding myself of that.)

4. What was an unexpected obstacle?
Dealing with the feeling of having a bit of a sabbatical but not knowing what to do and trying to stay somewhat positive. A month off that didn't really feel like a month off, in fact I forgot it happened.

5. Pick three words to describe this past year.
Listen (my word of the year worked!), dig, choppy

6&7 - About spouses, so N/A this year.

8. What were the best books you read this year?
I read 70+ books this year, started so many others and decided I didn't want to continue them. There were many I enjoyed but these stand out the most.
Present over Perfect
The City Baker's Guide to Country Living
Scary Close (2nd reading)
All the Bright Places
How to be a Person In the World
Harry Potter 6 & 7 (re-read)
Finding God In the Waves

9. With whom were your most valuable relationships?
Sarah, the ladies of WD's, the one with my counselor

10. What was your biggest personal change from January to December of this past year?
Allowing myself to be imperfect not just in theory and by logic but in feeling too.

11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally?
I learned the beginnings of mindfulness, a practice that I see being very, very helpful moving forward.

12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually?
I dug in and started questioning what my beliefs are, not just what I think and say they are but what is really going on underneath. I read books by several Christian authors, have another to either end this year with or start next year with. I questioned God, I got mad at God, I realized I was still operating under old beliefs of what God was and how he/she/it worked and I started questioning those. I allowed myself to feel and mentally speak to what I use to think were betraying thoughts. If God is all being and all knowing then He/She/Ze/It already knows what's going on so I may as well make it an open conversation.

13. In what way(s) did you grow physically?
It's just coming now at the end of the year but I started getting really tired of my excuses about my physical health. I realize I've been saying the same things for three plus years of why I can't do so many things I want to do and I'm tired of hearing myself talk. They are valid excuses, the road to getting better and being able to do some of those things if not all of them will be challenging to say the least but it's far from impossible.

14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others?
I backed off of some relationships but spent a lot of time working out different things I felt about them. My hope is that in the new year I will be able to come back to them with a better understanding of myself and my boundaries so we can rehabilitate and grow.
I learned to let people tell their own stories. It's something I will continually work on, but I think it's important. I want people to trust me, and I think they can, but I also realize that what I think is no big deal to share might be a huge deal to others.

15. What was the most enjoyable part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
That I have the time and the freedom to work on my health with doctor's appointments and health insurance. I also enjoy the steady income that has helped me work on budgeting.

16. What was the most challenging part of your work (both professionally and at home)?
Communication

17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year?
Facebook and crushes

18. What was the best way you used your time this past year?
Going to counseling. Definitely.

19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year?
I learned that the previous assumptions I had about how life should be, ones I didn't even realize I had, were not quite right and were causing more distress than anything else. There has been a lot of shifting and reconfiguring and deciding where I want to be working in the middle of that.

20. Create a phrase or statement that describes this past year for you.
Neither of these are mine originally but they have been so very true: The only way out is through and the time will pass anyway.

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Salty Foods and Feeling Free

A faded red hatchback waiting in front of me at a stoplight. A girl in the back with a Burger King crown, reaching to pull back the bag of food being passed from the front. It looked like summer break, I could practically smell the fries. The light turned green and they moved forward. Despite the food bag transfer they pulled into Taco Bell. Maybe the first bag didn't hold enough, maybe this summer day was one for a fast food mission of epic proportions. I wanted to be there, in that car...I wanted my own crown, sitting in the back seat between my friends, listening to the song of the hour, passing salty foods and feeling free.